Merry Christmas Everyone!

Just wanted to write a quick little blog to you all to wish you all the best. I hope you all get what you want in your stockings, that you have a delicious meal while being surrounded by your loved ones and your spirit is touched by the whole reason this day even exists... Jesus. OK, I am done with my sappiness for now.
And on New Years Eve, I hope you get several jello shots, beers and bottles of champage and laugh until you pee your pants a little. :D

I am so excited for Aaron to open all his stuff, he got everything he wanted this year. Not that this is all about presents, I know there is a bigger reason for it all... but seeing him happy makes me happy. God I am a sappy shit! LOL

OK I am about to get the hell outta work so I can watch a Christmas Story and decorate decorations with my familia.

Update on the girly parts

Hello All,
Looks like I probably do NOT have PCOS... this is probably all caused by rapid weight gain... thank you night shifts! I am now working on losing it so I can get cute and pregnant. :) Thanks to all for your kind words and thoughts. I appreciate them.
Now I would like to say how I hate snow. I hate driving in it. We are supposed to get up to 10 inches tomorrow. 10 INCHES. WTF? I hate snow.
I would rather it rain. Ugh.

I have SO much to do before Christmas. I can think of at least 6 different gift I need to get people, and not one damn thing is wrapped. Not ONE DAMN THING. I suck at this.
PS- If you didn't see our Christmas cards, they are great. I will have to ask someone to put a copy on the net for me.
PPS- If someone will record Coronation Street for me I would be forever in your debt. Seriously! I MISS IT. That would be a great Xmas gift for me. And Cheap.
OK gotta go do some chemo.

Update and probably some bitching too...

Hello,
I have been pretty busy getting adjusted to the new job so I haven't been online much. But I love my job! It is great to have essentially the same schedule as most of the people in my life. I sleep at night, am awake during the day with the rest of the world, and I do a LOT of walking at work, actually more than when I worked on 6. Well, not always but often I walk back and forth from Main, to Mott, to Med Inn, Cancer Center and back. But it is good exercise. :) My co-workers are very nice and have been very welcoming to me. We all get along well. I really couldn't ask for much more.
Well, I have had some not so nice discoveries, too. Be warned, if you're weird about hearing/reading about period stuff, read no further.
I haven't had a period since September 3. After multiple negative pregnancy tests I went to the doctor and had some blood work done. My thyroid is OK, as is my glucose, but apparently my follicle stimulating hormone and luteinizing hormone are off, which from what I am told is indicative of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Needless to say I am sad, scared, and pissed the hell off.
So, this is the thanks I get for doing it all right. I go to high school, graduate, go straight to college, get a good education and dependable, respectable career, graduate, get married, buy a house, set up a 401K, have 2 decent cars in the driveway for us, and *BAM*. You're fucking infertile. Well, maybe not. So OK, *BAM*, best case scenario you'll need to be on meds to stimulate ovulation to get pregnant, or you'll have to learn how to shit money so you can pay for in vitro fertilization. BULLSHIT. Or I will have to pay ass loads of money so I can adopt someone else's kid. While I am over here worrying about the THOUSANDS of dollars I may have to come up with in order to be a Mommy, let me take this opportunity to say that it is free to get knocked up in an alley in Detroit while smoking crack. Those kinds of people can get pregnant, but I may not be able to. Cue in Alanis Morrissette's "Isn't it Ironic". It PISSES ME OFF that people who have no business getting pregnant seem to make a hobby of it while I would be a good Mom and I may not even be able to.
On the bright side, this explains the unexplainable weight gain. I hope it get be corrected, along with my bum ovaries.
I feel defective. I am made a woman so I can reproduce. Is there a consollation prize for not being able to use these ovaries for their obvious intent? Will someone make them into bronzed matching paper weights for me? It is all just very unfair and painful.
Granted, I may be *slightly* over reacting because I haven't gotten the official diagnosis from the doctor. That comes Tuesday. But I am a nurse, and I see the evidence right in front of my face. If I don't get diagnosed with it then I will be COMPLETELY surprised, and elated.
Updates will be up when I find them out and can stomach typing them.

Leaving 6

Well, Wednesday night-Thursday morning was my last shift I had at 6 Mott. It was a nice, relaxing shift. I had a good assignment, sweet patients and caring parents. One of my patients was having some complications with a kidney transplant he was actively rejecting and because of this (well, at least I think because of this...) he was in a lot of pain. I was trying to comfort him the best I could and his mom said "You're Good." I assumed she was talking to her brave little 7 year old boy. I agreed with her and said "Yes he is,". She said, "No, you... you're a good nurse. Thank You." It was a bittersweet moment. I was happy and proud to have helped this little boy and in turn pleased his worried mother. But at the same time I was sad... when is the next time I will have a patient like him? When will I get to truly be a patient advocate again?
Another patient I had was a spinal fusion, but only 2. Usually kids with that surgery are 10+. I went in his room to give him pain medicine and he was crying because his dad went to the bathroom and he was alone. So I sat next to his bed and rubbed his forehead and hair and he fell asleep almost immediately. When is the next time I will be able to comfort a scared baby like that? I mean, the things I am talking about aren't big deals in nursing, they happen often. Well yes they are big deals, it is important to do them, but it can be a regular occurrence. But the fact that I am walking into a new job full of everything unknown on Monday, and probably not get the chance to do those things anymore, scares and kind of upsets me. Will I have the chance to participate in/embrace those aspects of nursing? Those things to me are the essence of nursing, nursing at it's most basic and necessary, the human aspect.
Even though I rarely talk about it, I consider myself to be extremely lucky because for the last 3 1/2 years my job gives me the opportunity to truly help people. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to comfort a child in pain. It is so fulfilling to have an infant patient who has no parents with them(it happens often) and have a night time feeding. Holding that little baby and rocking him/her back to sleep is so comforting. In those moments, everything is OK for us both. They are safe, I am relaxed, we're both happy. Now the reason I like that so much might be because I want a baby so damn bad. Not sure. I get paid to do what feels right and what interests and amazes me at the same time. How lucky is that?! I truly LOVED my job. If I could have had the same schedule as Aaron and stay there, maybe I would have never left. But I had to do what was right for my marriage and the continued growth of my career.
Well one thing did happen to remind me that sometimes not being on 6 can be a good thing. There was a patient there with epidermolysis bullosa and she had the worst case I have ever seen, even in books. This poor kid was basically there to die. I watched her for a minute while her nurse went to the bathroom and I just about shit my pants. They said she looked bad, but I guess just words didn't prepare me for what I saw. My Good God. She looked dead. But not normal dead, like if you or I died at this moment. No, like scary movie, special effects dead. Her disease process had overtaken her body so badly that there was no normal skin on her. The only way I could tell she was still alive was my watching her chest rise and fall as she breathed. It hurt to look at this poor kid.
Kids like this, paralyzed kids with trachs and vents, and child abuse cases are the 3 main things that really piss me off. Why does this have to happen? Why does God allow this? I understand people have to die, but why in the hell does anyone have to suffer like that? Ugh. But at least not working there anymore means I will not see stuff like that, well at least not as often.
In the morning when I was leaving I was holding back tears the best I could. It was so hard to leave everyone I have worked with for the last 3 1/2 years. Some of those people have been there from the beginning for me and helped me learn and grow as a nurse. They are more than just my co-workers, they are my friends too. I will miss them so much! I felt very loved too, we had a potluck for my last shift AND we went out last night to celebrate. It was a very fun night out. A lot of drinks and laughs were had by all. Maybe they like me as much as I like them. :)
OK I think I am done having my pity party. Leaving my first nursing job ever was a momentous occasion for me, I suppose. But now it is over and done and I have to dry my eyes, put my big girl panties on and get on with it.

PS- my manager said that if I change my mind I always am welcome back on 6. That is incredibly good to know. Like training wheels for my new job! :)

Bitter!

Aaron and I had a good day yesterday. It was the 5 year anniversary of the day we met. We spent the day being lazy as slugs, watching TV and taking naps periodically throughout the day and getting some cheap pizza for dinner. It was nice to lay around with my hubby and be lazy together. :)
In the morning we had an AT&T cable guy come to our house and install cable. We have it now for 30 days free to try it. It is better than WOW or Comcast! We love it! Well, I love it apart from one thing. It doesn't have CBC. There is no longer a way for me to watch my all time favorite show, Coronation Street. I am PISSED! And the last episode I saw that was on Friday, Vera friggin died! She popped her clogs right there in her chair in the loving room, and Jack came back from the Rovers after a quick pint and found her dead. Poor guy. And they were just about to go to Blackpool. Ugh. I choked back the tears.
I have been watching Corrie since the summer of 2006 on a regular basis. I watched it a lot when I was a kid because of my mom. I didn't like it a lot then, but I love it now and could honestly cry. I would give up Grey's Anatomy AND Nip/Tuck for my Corrie!!!
I am now scrambling to find a place to watch it so I don't miss anything. I tried www.cbc.ca, but they only let people in Canada watch their TV shows online. No matter that I live 30 friggin' minutes from the border to Windsor! That just proves to me that Canadians are bastards that have no love for me... even though I came from the same place they did. Jerks. Sorry if you're Canadian. I am bitter right now. I am sure that any Canadian readers of this blog are indeed not bastards.
Any English websites I have been to for some reason make my ISP crash every time I try to watch an episode online. I am going to have to see if anyone can fix this. What the hell people?! Who do I have to f*ck around here to get to see my favorite show???
So, if there are any loving, sweet people out there reading this who love me, who get CBC and have a DVR, would you please record Coronation Street for me? It comes on Monday-Friday at either 7:00 or 7:30PM and lasts a half hour. I will in turn make you cookies, rub your back or do whatever you want... within reason.
So apart from searching the internet in vain looking for a place to watch Corrie and calling AT&T threatening to drop their services if I can't have my favorite show, today has been a good day...

Feeling a tad sorry for myself.

Instead of sleeping happy in my bed I have been awake for hours. I WAS EXHAUSTED all day yesterday. So I woke up about 3AM and have been up ever since, watching the Discovery Health Channel, which happens to be my favorite.
I have my myspace's playlist playing in the background, and to be honest it is kinda depressing me. I LOVE the songs I have chosen for it, but some of them have a lot of meaning to them, or they remind me of things I can't have. OK, so Lean like a Cholo has no true deep meaning, but I love it. LOL. The songs remind me of my youth, or England, or my English family, my friends that I can no longer see on a regular basis because we're all wives and moms and homeowners and full time workers, or my American Family that only miles and steep gas prices keeps me from.
I know, I am still pretty young, but when I refer to my youth I refer to the part of it that I know I can never have back. No responsibilities, no true worries, no career yet... I don't really want to go back there, but the carefree fun we had was just... amazing.
I miss England so much. I haven't been there in 3 1/2 years. It is so beautiful, the weather is perfect (for me anyway), it's just different than here. You'd have to go there to see it. And no, I am not talking London. London is nice, but not the same. I would love to go there and have a ball, but that's not what I miss. All big cities have a lot of similarities, at least in my experiences. The real stuff to see is north of London. Durham, Newcastle, the Lake District, the hilly, green countryside dotted with lambs and farms. I keep looking online at ticket prices and nearly crying every time, about $3000 per person. At that rate I will never get there before my grandmother passes away, and that breaks my heart. I really want Aaron to meet her. Unless I learn how to shit money I just don't see it happening. I have twin cousins that I have never met. At any given point I am without half of my entire family. If I am here, I have not one member of my mother's side of my family. If I am in England I have not one member of my dad's side of my family. It sucks. So no matter what I do, I will ALWAYS be missing out on my family's lives.
Having said all that though, I have a lot of be thankful for. I am healthy and am married to and in love with a good man who loves me very much, we both have jobs and are capable of paying our bills, we don't go without any necessities, we have friends and family we love very much, not to mention I have the most beautiful dogs on the face of the Earth. And hopefully very soon I will have a bun in the oven. I guess it is true that no one is ever truly happy. Well hopefully this is just me being premenstrual and moody. I am 18 days late, after all. 8 HPT later, I am pretty sure I am not pregnant. Ugh.

Flu Shots are Evil.

I got my flu shot at work on Friday night. It barely hurt to get it, and I was convinced in my head that all the people that I have heard complaining about how their arm was sore for days were big wimps. I pride myself on having a decent/good pain tolerance. (Once I had a dentist look at me weird/concerned during a procedure and ask me if I was OK, and I said yes, that I felt pressure but it did not hurt. Then she said "Wow, you must have a high pain threshold." But I digress.) Well I don't know if I do anymore.
I am wondering now if I am having a reaction to the vaccine. Before I got it the paperwork said that if I have a severe egg allergy do not take it. Well I have never considered myself "allergic" to eggs, but (sharing a LOT here...) they make me poop. Like stomach cramps, pain, sweating, etc. Not a pretty thing to go through. I can eat things with egg as an ingredient but eating eggs for breakfast will cause that to happen. So maybe that should have been a red flag to the nurse... uh I dunno. Nurses are worried about everyone else but themselves. We typically have a "I'll be fine" attitude.
Anyhow, I shrugged off the egg thing as I signed the paperwork and rolled up my sleeve for the big ass needle. For the rest of the shift I felt OK. I did get really tired on the way home and fell asleep in my car in my DRIVEWAY for a few minutes, but I have done that before and therefore can't entirely blame that on the shot. However, I have not been awake for longer than a 2-3 hr. stretch since then. Also, my arm is swollen at the injection site. It is red and looks like either an angry pimple or bug bite. I occasionally feel dizzy. It is not hard to breathe, but I often find myself taking larger than normal breaths, like how one does right after you first wake up in the morning after a full night's sleep. (At least I find for the first few minutes after I wake up that I still breathe deeply like most sleeping people do.) My body aches, I think I am getting a fever despite having taken 2 excedrin an hour ago (can't find my damn thermometer... ugh) because I feel hot and sweaty even though the most taxing thing I have done is eat toast and type this. In addition to all this, my whole left arm (where I had the damn evil poison) feels weaker. Sometimes I get shooting pains in those fingers. No, I have never had tongue/mouth/throat swelling or wheezing, so I know it is not an anaphylactic reaction.
WTF? Am I dying? Are all these things normal? Am I just a huge wimp? Lemme know what your experiences have been with this.

I want my mom. :(

Can the election be F*CKING over now, please?

I am sick of the commercials with the scary voices saying shit like, "Can America take another 4 years?" or whatever. Don't the candidates know we MAKE FUN of those commercials and they sway virtually (I assume, if not completely) NO ONE? Or are they so far removed from the people they are supposed to represent that they can't grasp normal American living?
I don't want to watch a debate. I don't want to listen to people who, in reality, probably don't give two shits about us, preach from their podiums about how they are the answer to all our problems. It is going to take MORE THAN ONE MAN to fix Americans' problems! It is also going to take more than 4 years to fix them.

*Let me say now that before you read any further, I am the first one to admit I don't know much about politics. Me writing this does not mean I want to get in a pissing match with anyone! I am not arguing that I know more or better than anyone else, just voicing my own frustrations. Please feel free to respond, but I don't want to argue...*

After reading more about candidates from other parties, I think they suck too, one in particular whose views actually contradict the Bill of Rights! Seriously? Sure, if you're 35+ and a natural born citizen of the US you can run for Presidency... but just because you can doesn't mean you should.
Another guy I don't quite get is Baldwin. It just seems like he is a little out of touch with reality when it comes to 100% of American businesses owned by Americans. Does anyone else see the problem here? Sure, it's a great idea, but come on now. I live in a very diverse part of the country, where there are a lot of people from other backgrounds, who are undoubtedly business owners. So we are going to take away their businesses from them? How many Americans are in the position to be able to make all their bills, let alone buy a business? I have a problem with someone saying this country is ONLY for Americans. Because if that is the case, we should ALL leave unless we're NATIVE American. How many of us can say "Yeah, I am American, with an English/Irish/Scottish/Dutch/Italian/Indian/Asian/African/Arabic/you get the point background". I know I wouldn't be here if that were the case. I can only assume his Doctrine is his best case scenario/ideal picture of what would happen in a perfect world. Today we are SO far from it that he would seem out of touch with reality if he thought he, or anyone else, can honestly accomplish that in four years.
While the Green Party has some good points http://www.gp.org/tenkey.shtml, I disagree with their nonviolence value. Well, to be honest I actually DO agree with it, but I think it is ridiculous to try to accomplish in the world we live in today. When there are savages in other countries who want to kill us, we need to be able to stave off their attempts and put them in their place.

OK I think I am done now. I need to go back to sleep so I can work tonight. Blah.

Life Change for the Better!

Hello!
It is with GREAT JOY that I write this blog. I got a NEW JOB!!!!!
Starting Nov. 10 I will be part of the Training Team for HomeMed at the University of Michigan. YAY! Here is a copy of the posting to give you a better idea of what I will be doing:

Market Title: Registered Nurse
FLSA: Non-Exempt
Hours/Week: 40 hrs/wk
Shift/Hours/Days: Days, Monday - Friday
NOTE: Day shift between the hours of 9:00 to 5:30 with occasional Saturday rotation.


To provide nursing care, assessment, evaluation, training and monitoring to an assigned patient population (inclusive of pediatric and adult) requiring home infusion and durable medical equipment prior to hospital discharge and in the outpatient clinic setting. To provide nursing advice and consultation to nursing and other health team staff along the continuum of care. Triage problems as they arise with home patients. To train and serve as a preceptor of nursing and others assigned to Home Care Services. To participate in health team activities.
Job Requirements: (I erased the obvious ones, like 'must be a nurse, etc. etc.')
Direct care with all types of vascular access devices (i.e.: PICCs, midlines, implanted, tunneled), wound care and oxygen patients.
In-depth recent experience in patient education (i.e.: self care, disease state management).
Note: Role will require cross training to both the Hospital staff role (in-hospital setting) and the Home Infusion visit staff role (patient home). Occasional on-call.

So basically half the time I will be in the hospital teaching people how to use their central IVs, like how to infuse meds, etc. The other half of the time I will be in people's homes infusing medicines like IVIG and Chemotherapy.
I will be either on call or will be working at the Clinic every 6th or 7th weekend. I am not sure which one yet, it depends on which team they put me on. We rarely work any holidays AND get reimbursed for every mile driven in our own vehicles! If we drive over 1200 miles a month, we get a company car. Not permanently, I think it is just for driving for work. But still!!! How awesome is that? They really treat their employees well as far as I can tell.

Here is my Pro/Con List:
PROS:
-It is a change! I have been working on the same floor for 3 years and 5 months, it would be nice to learn something different.
-This is a step in the right direction for my career. I would one day like to be a manager, and home care is where it's at right now. (Baby Boomers getting older, sicker, etc., home care is probably one of the highest growing nursing fields.) This experience in home care will only help me.
-There is really no room for growth where I work now. I have asked numerous times to be a preceptor or to have extra work to do to help the floor and I never get it. There are 80+ nurses on our floor, and all those positions are already filled. I would have to wait until everyone else doing those jobs leaves before I would get a chance to do it. And even then, it is not definite that I would ever even get it! See how this is going?
-I would be working the same shift as my husband, for the first time EVER since we have known each other! That will be awesome, I will be able to see Aaron EVERY DAY!
-A more normal schedule will make it possible for me to have a life; go to the gym more, see my friends more, and have every weekend off for my kids when I one day (hopefully) have them.
-I will make more money. Right now I work 36 hrs a week, and with this position I will be back up to 40 a week. It doesn't sound like much, but it equals out to more than the bonuses I got working nights. And in this economy especially, every little bit helps.
-I met my co-workers already and they are really nice. Everyone was very welcoming and hopeful that I would get the job. (I met them all before I accepted the position.)

CONS:
-I will miss the 6Mott Girls (and the couple boys, too). I have been there for a long time and have developed some really good friendships. They are what has kept me there so long, I would have left already if I worked with a bunch of B-words.
-I will be driving more. But half the time I will get reimbursed for the gas I use, so hey I can't complain too much!
-I have to get to the U really early to get a parking spot unless I want to spend $700 a year on parking. I have to be there by about 7:15AM to get a parking spot in the orange lot and take the bus to the hospital. That does suck but at least then it means I will have time to take a nap in my car/put my make-up on/read/visit 6Mott before I go to work. So it is not all bad! :)


I am very happy and a little sad. But I already made an agreement with my boss that I can always come back if I decide I don't like it. That makes me SO comfortable to know that I have a plan B if I need it. :D

This means there is definitely some celebratory partying in order! I will make the appropriate plans as soon as I know if it is a BFP or BFN this month!

Convince me!

There is less than one month until Election Day.... and I STILL don't know who to vote for.
If they would let me do my debate it would be perfect. But since I doubt it is going to happen... if any of you are die hard Obama/McCain supporters, respond to this blog and tell me why you're voting the way you are. Maybe it will sway me one way or another. And no responses like "I am voting for Obama because McCain is old," or "I am voting for McCain because Obama is a douchebag,", I want REAL reasons.
OK cool.
Thanks.

Response from Victoria's Secret

Dear Andrea,

Thank you for your e-mail regarding animal testing. We appreciate your concern.

Victoria's Secret does not test its products on animals, nor does it request any of our third party manufacturers, or anyone else, to perform such tests on its behalf. We utilize ingredients in our formulations that are known to be safe and we do not ask the supplier of those ingredients to perform any such tests on animals. Most importantly, we rely on human testing to ensure the safety of our products.

Also, Victoria's Secret does not use any animal byproducts in its formulations where the animal is either slaughtered or harmed in any way. However, we do condone the use of animal derived products where the animal is not harmed such as lanolin, milk and eggs.

If you need further assistance, please reply to this e-mail or call anytime.

Victoria's Secret is committed to providing an exceptional experience for our customers. Andrea, we look forward to the opportunity of serving you in the future.

Sincerely,


Erica B.
VictoriasSecret.com Customer Service

Visit www.VictoriasSecret.com
Phone 1.800.475.1935 or (outside the U.S.) 1.937.438.4197
Fax 1.937.438.4290

Response from Johnson & Johnson

Andrea Lamorand
UNITED STATES

Dear Andrea:

Thank you for contacting Johnson & Johnson. It is always important to hear from our customers and we appreciate the time you have taken to contact us.

The ingredients in our companies' nonprescription skin and hair care products have been proven safe historically, so instead of using laboratory animals to assess the safety of these formulations, the companies perform a number of predictive tests in humans. Any new ingredients, however, would require appropriate safety validation that might include laboratory animals.

Otherwise, as health care products manufacturers, Johnson & Johnson companies have a responsibility to assure the safety of its products for intended use and in the event of accidental misuse. The primary means of providing this assurance continues to be the judicious and ethical use of laboratory animals and in vitro (test tube) tests.

Johnson & Johnson companies use numerous in vitro or "alternative" methods in testing new compounds and new product formulations. In fact, the companies presently use more than 160 different alternative tests in research, and we are spending more than $92 million each year in using and developing non-animal tests. Ultimately, however, testing with a minimum number of animals is necessary to fully assure safety.

The companies use as few animals as possible, mostly mice and rats, and when safety is established, new product formulations are no longer tested. We use tests other than the classical LD-50 -- such as the "limit dose method," which requires one-fourth or fewer laboratory animals. During eye safety tests, our formulations are so mild and gentle that there is no need to restrain animals, and for skin irritation studies we rely heavily on human volunteers or non-traditional tests that require fewer animals.

While there presently is not a single validated alternative test that can fully replace whole animal testing, Johnson & Johnson companies are committed to seeking alternatives through internal efforts as well as by supporting studies at outside research facilities. As alternative forms are validated, please be assured that Johnson & Johnson companies will take the lead in implementing them in its testing programs.

To learn more about our policies, we invite you to see more information on our website:
http://www.jnj.com/community/policies/animal_testing/animal_testing.htm

Again, thank you for your interest in Johnson & Johnson.

013029261A

Response from Proctor and Gamble

Here is a copy of the email I got from them:

Discussion Thread
---------------------------------------------------------------
Response (RightNow Administrator) - 10/02/2008 01:14 PM
Thanks for contacting us about our policy on research involving animals.

P&G has ended animal testing on all our finished consumer products except when required by law. We use non-animal alternatives first. We only use research involving animals when there are no other reasonable options.

In our Healthcare business, we're focused on developing innovative medicines that improve people's lives. Current regulatory standards require animal research while developing these medications. It's our policy to use the minimum number of animals necessary while working toward our goal of the reduction and replacement of animals. We continue to identify screening techniques that are acceptable to global regulatory groups to take the place of animal tests in the earliest phase of drug discovery.

Through our pet care and nutrition products, we help dogs and cats live longer, healthier lives. We feed our foods first to dogs and cats to help us develop nutrition that delivers true health benefits to millions of pets worldwide. We make sure the dogs and cats we work with receive the best care. We treat them as if they're our own pets. They are adopted into loving homes or placed in our retirement facility when their help is no longer needed. At the same time, we're working hard on alternatives to find even better ways of getting these results and eliminating the need for additional research with other animals.

We'd rather use alternative test methods. Not only is the use of animals avoided, but reliable alternative tests generally cost less and take less time than animal research. We'd like to be able to eliminate animal research on ingredients in consumer products altogether, and we're making progress. We've invested over $190 million in alternatives, making us an industry leader. We've helped develop over 50 alternative methods and have shared our work in over 300 scientific publications. We're also working with the FDA and respected animal welfare groups, such as the Humane Society of the United States, to work on reforming regulations and validating alternative methods. To learn more about what we're doing to reach our goal, please visit our website:

http://www.pg.com/science/animal_alt.jhtml

For additional information about alternatives, visit the following websites:

http://www.biorap.org (Biological Research for Animals & People)
http://altweb.jhsph.edu/ (Alternatives to Animal Testing site)
http://www.hsus.org/ (Humane Society of the United States site)
http://www.ampef.org/ (Americans for Medical Progress Educational Foundation)

We hope this information is helpful.

P&G Team

Vegetarianism.... is it for me?

I frequent the PETA website. However, I recently found out I literally CAN'T join due to my husband being in the military and his inability to associate with groups like that because they say he is not allowed. So, I guess I will stick to signing petitions and emailing the bad guys asking them not pass laws that promotes cruelty, etc. It kinda stinks, I would like to be a part of an organization that helps the lives of animals. But at least this way I don't have to feel bad about not donating money. I can't. :/
So I have been eating meat. It's worse than quitting smoking. Literally every bite I take makes me feel bad, but sometimes I need it. Need. But when I don't get that need for it I abstain. Like last night, I made tacos for dinner. I made ground beef for Aaron and had no desire whatsoever to eat any of it. And I made refried beans for me, which were fabulous. Those, some Spanish rice, tomato, onion, low far sour cream, taco sauce all on top of tortilla chips and I was a happy girl. I didn't miss the meat at all. But every so often I have to have it, and I listen to my body. I figure eating less meat is better than eat meat daily, right?
I still try to buy only cruelty free products. I have shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotions, perfumes, laundry detergent and fabric softener, dish washer soap pellet thingees, hand soap, and dish soap all picked out that is cruelty free. SOme of it is a little more expensive, but I would hope to God that if I was a bunny, or a dog or something else furry and cute that the people who rule the world would find it in their hearts to pay a little more to secure my safety. I only buy free range eggs too. Hey even if I do have the occasional burger I am still making an effort.

In case you're curious, here are the brands of stuff I use now that you can find at every day stores like Wal-mart and Target that are cruelty free.

-Tresemme Shampoo and Conditioner
-Bath and Body Works (OK this is a mall store, whatever.)
-Lush- everything there is cruelty free... mall store again. So sue me.
-Method (they have laundry stuff, hand soap, furniture polish etc.)
-Simplicity (fabric softener, dishwasher soap pellet thingees and laundry soap.)
-Wal-Mart Brand now has a cruelty free laundry soap, Mandarin Orange scented. It is CHEAP!!!!
-Victoria's Secret products claim to not test "finished product" on animals... I am not sure what this means and I am going to try to find out.

I just emailed Tresemme, Johnson and Johnson, Victoria's Secret and Proctor and Gamble asking them if they conduct animal testing for their products. I plan on blogging their responses for you.
Just in case it is needed, the reference # for the P&G email I sent is: '081002-001876'

And no, they were not rude, accusatory emails. They were simple and to the point. An example is this, written to Victoria's Secret.

Hello,
I have recently read on different bottles of body spray I purchased from you that it says "Finished Product not Tested on Animals". What exactly does that mean? Does it mean that individual ingredients are tested on animals?
If so, does it cause them pain? What does your company actually do to these animals? Please respond to this email with specific answers so I can be an informed consumer making sound decisions.
Thank You.
Sincerely,
Andrea Lamorand

OK, I think I am done with this animal stuff for now. I don't know what to call it. Helping, crusading (haha), whatever it is I have to put it on hold so I can take a nap before work tonight.

I will keep you all posted on what I find out!

I want to moderate a Presidential Debate....

This is why.
I have heard of different debates/Q&A sessions that have taken place with McCain and Obama. I heard one was a religious group which would totally have McCain's back, and then tomorrow I heard there is one by a person called Gwen Ifill, who is writing a book called "The Breaktrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama". It is due to come out on January 20, 2009. Now we can all tell who this next debate will be favoring.
I think that is BS!!! Debates should favor neither party. It should favor trying to answer American's question of who is best to run our country for the next 4 years.

Here is my solution:
Get someone who has no real affiliation with either party. A NORMAL, AVERAGE AMERICAN. Since it is my damn idea, me. I want to do it. I for the life of me can't decide who to vote for. And, I am sick of hearing people say "Well, DUH... the choice is obvious..." because NO it isn't. I am a self-proclaimed moderate. I see both points of view of both parties but am not committed to either one.
I think it is safe to say we are all TERRIFIED to have another Bush-like president. That makes me not want to vote for McCain. But having said that, I do not like Obama's view on nuclear warfare, well maybe I do now, but at one point, before the likely flip-flop... (probably when he was being honest...) I didn't agree.

So, here's the plan:
A simple stage, 2 podiums, the moderator (ME) and every American TV station who cares to be there. But, as much as I hate to say it, MTV and VH1 must be there. If we want people to vote, we have to think of the demographics and lifestyles of many voters. We want everyone to vote, but isn't it just a little bit scary to think of the average 20 year old (clueless) American voting? I want everyone to vote, because it is our right to vote. However, almost more importantly, I want people to be informed voters. This election is important!!! May the best man win because a knowledgeable country elected them!
There is more to my plan. I want no questions submitted by any special interest groups, or by either party. In fact, I want no questions submitted period. Any question I am going to ask them is going to come from my own head. Not even questions from the audience, who could be a radical right or left wing nut, thus possibly foiling my attempt at having a NON-BIASED debate.

Questions will begin with: please identify your religious beliefs/affiliations. I say that ONLY because a lot of people think Obama is a Muslim, which he is not. No this is not to sway people away from one candidate or toward another, but only to educate the American people. Some people I KNOW will not vote for a Muslim person at this time due to the way the world is. I want to give both parties a fair chance.
After that, I want to say to each person "Mr. McCain/Obama, what is your stance on:"
Abortion
Taxes
Drilling for oil on American Soil
the American Economy (and what do you plan to do about it)
the Foreclosure Crisis (and what do you plan to do about it)
Gas Prices (and what do you plan to do about it)
Education
Health Insurance
Poverty
The war in Iraq
Terrorism
Stem Cell Research
the Banking Crisis/$700B
Social Security
College Funding for Students
AIDS Epidemic
World Hunger (and what do you plan to do about it)

OK so since I am an average American I am willing to take suggestions on questions. But that's it. I am bound to be forgetting some issue that is undoubtedly important.

Here are the rules of the debate:
1. Each candidate will have 2 minutes to answer each question.
2. If the candidate starts talking in circles trying to avoid the question, he will get The Gong. and be asked to please cut the bullshit out of his repertoire.
3. Instead of commercial breaks there will be guest appearances by musicians, comedians, celebrities, all doing it for FREE. Out of the goodness of their heart for t he American people. No payments from either party. This will keep the attention span of the American People. Instead of saying "change that horse shit Bobby!!!!" they'll be saying, "OK, well I will watch it until I see Katy Perry, then I will change the channel." At least this way there is a shot at educating the population. And sure, there will be the assholes who just TiVo it and skip the debate part. Chances are those people won't be voting anyway.
4. There will be no funding from anyone except from McCain and Obama. They must split the costs for the studio and for the employees doing the audio-visual everything. All the guests will be there on their own free will, no need to pay them. Since I am an average American and therefore have no money falling out of my ass, they'll have to fly me out to where ever it is and my hotel. I don't need any extra payment though. Talk about taking one for the team.

So there is my solution to the debate BS.

DISCLAIMER: I do not know much about this stuff. Really I don't know much about much. My "novel" idea of how my debate will be (funding at least) may actually be how all of them are. I indeed know I may look like a total ignorant asshole. I am cool with that. Feel free to leave me comments telling me that if you like. But just a heads up, I'm not going to feel dumb about it. So don't try to talk down to me and have that "I'm smarter than you" attitude about it. It won't get you anywhere except maybe in my next blog entitled "Why (INSERT YOUR NAME HERE) is an Asshole."

Driving Home Thoughts about Queen and stuff.

I was driving home from work this morning and was just in a really good mood. Even the crazy traffic jam on 94 didn't piss me off, which is very rare for me. (Usually I am the type that becomes 10 feet tall, bulletproof and bitchy as soon as I get behind the wheel.)
The sun was shining, I was wide awake, the weather was prefect and cool, and I was listening to my Queen's Greatest Hits CD, which I LOVE. It is a good day. Queen is one of those bands that inspires me and makes me think. I wish I was alive when Queen was a new and up and coming band, I would have loved to have seen them in concert and seen Freddy Mercury alive. When I listen to his music and voice it makes me think of the theatrical style most of his music had. It was so full of energy. I feel it was, and still is today, one of a kind. I can imagine the songs of that CD being in a play similar to Grease. Something with a lot of dancing, bright colors, singing, something glamorous and theatrical...
When I listen to Queen I think of Freddy Mercury a lot. I feel bad for him in a way. He was gay, but obviously didn't feel like he could be open about it. Maybe I am wrong, maybe he just didn't want to divulge his private life details. Either way, I am sure in that time he probably battled with coming out or the lifestyle, like people even have to now.
In his song Play the Game there is this one part of it that almost sounds like advice to his listeners:
"This is your life
Don't play hard to get
It's a free world
All you have to do is fall in love
Play the game - yeah
Everybody play the game of love."
And I wonder if it was really to the listeners, trying to empower them to live for themselves and get what they want, or to himself.
On a slightly different subject... I recently started reading the book 'And the Band Played on' about the discovery of AIDS and the politics behind it, etc. It is an awesome book. It is tragic though. Reading it is kind of like watching the Titanic. You just want to scream to all the men in the bath houses "USE A CONDOM!!!!" because you know how it is going to end. But reading that book makes me think of Freddy's (and so many other men that were first infected with the HIV virus in the late 70's and early 80's.) lifestyle that he must have lead; decadent, carefree, (in ways... I realize homosexuality came with and still does come with huge prices to be paid, unfortunately...) flamboyant, fun, risky, and in the end what caused the world to lose a great singer well before his time.

While on the way home I heard the song "You're my Best Friend". It is one of my favorite Queen songs. I had originally wanted it to be the song we danced to for our wedding party at the reception, but I am glad we chose another song. When I hear this song I always think of Aaron. It's a really good way to describe the relationship we have developed over the years together (5 years as of November 1 since we met. WOW). I actually got a little teary eyed listening to it because it totally sums up everything I feel. I know, I know. Gag. But really, I am so thankful to have him and our marriage that sometimes I do get a little nauseating. Despite the fact that sometimes he drives me nuts (and I drive him nuts too...) I have NO idea what I would do without him. In case any of you reading this do not know the words of the song, here they are. :)

You're My Best Friend
Written by John Deacon

Ooh, you make me live
Whatever this world can give to me
It's you, you're all I see
Ooh, you make me live now honey
Ooh, you make me live

Oh, you're the best friend
That I ever had
I've been with you such a long time
You're my sunshine
And I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
(Ooh) Oh, you're my best friend

Ooh, you make me live

Ooh, I've been wandering round
But I still come back to you (still come back to you) [OK, this is NOT one of my side notes.]
In rain or shine
You've stood by me girl (OK, so he is not a girl, but you know what I mean...)
I'm happy at home (happy at home) [ditto]
You're my best friend

Ooh, you make me live
Whenever this world is cruel to me
I got you, to help me forgive - oo oo ooh (well actually he doesn't help me forgive, but he does make me laugh and lift my spirits, all while planning the ultimate demise of whoever pissed me off!)
Ooh, you make me live now honey
Ooh, you make me live

Oh, you're the first one
When things turn out bad
You know I'll never be lonely
You're my only one
And I love the thing
I really love the things that you do
Oh, you're my best friend

Oh, ooh, you make me live

I'm happy (happy at home) [again]
You're my best friend
Oh, oh, you're my best friend
Ooh, you make me live
You, you're my best friend



OK, so I think I am done with my little outpouring. I need to go to bed since I have to work tonight.
So maybe I am just tired and thinking WAY too much about stuff, but I took the long way home from the MVN office and was in a traffic jam, it was either think or sleep. ha!

Stupid People Shouldn't be Allowed to Talk.

I went to dinner to Chili's with a couple friends tonight. It's the weekend, we're all happy to be out and have fun together, everything was going very well.
Until the waitress came. (Don don don...) She said, practically verbatim: "Hi, my name is Jamie and I will be taking care of you today. The menus are over there, and (clincher here, while looking at me) she said: FOR EVERYONE BUT YOU WE HAVE DRINK SPECIALS... I stopped what I was doing, looked at her and said "EXCUSE ME?" And she stopped dead in her tracks, started stumbling over her words, looking very uncomfortable. BITCH!
So let me paint a little picture for you. I am wearing a black tank top with black matching cardigan over it, with black capri/gaucho pants. I am in a booth, and since I am short my chest is basically sitting on the table. Now unless I seriously underestimated myself, I don't thinkthat I am pouring out of the booth, nor do I have that special pregnancy induced "glow". To try to cover her tracks a second later she says, "Did I use to work with you? You look familiar. Oh, I thought you were someone else, I am so embarrassed." Bitch no you didn't. You are trying to cover up the fact that you are an IDIOT and thought I was pregnant by trying to "confuse" me with another person who obviously was pregnant. Good try. I was born at night, not last night.
I will be the first person to admit it, I am overweight. However, my gut is a fat girl gut, it does not in any way resemble a protruding uterus. Unless you actually can get a muffin top from a growing fetus, I am confused about this mistake. And while this girl wasn't what I would call fat, she had a pooch herself, which I graciously ignored throughout the evening. I should have told her I was about as far along as she was. With a food baby.
We almost left. I am appalled, and so were my friends. We spent the rest of our time there cracking jokes about all the things we could have, and probably should have, said to her. I almost felt bad for her toward the end, actually questioning if she had a closed head injury. She was either a victim of a head injury or seriously the MOST IGNORANT WOMAN ON EARTH. It was painful to listen to her talk. I am sure having an audience of three people looking at you in disgust doesn't make you exactly comfortable, so I supposed it could have been the fact that she was mortified and just hoping the ground would open up and swallow her whole.
In the end we left, but not before leaving an adequate tip. Usually I tip 20% or depending on the service received. She obviously got what she deserved in our eyes.
I am not going to let her ruin my night though. I will sit my fat ass on the couch, watch TV and enjoy the company of good friends. Oh yeah, and go to the gym in the morning.

My Dream

I had the craziest/best dream today. (No, I don't say today because I sleep all day because I am a lazy bum, I work nights.) I dreamt I was in labor with Aaron's and my first child.
In the room was myself (obviously), Aaron (again), Kim, Autumn and Cassie. Sorry I drug you into it, Cassie! haha. Weird that no parents were there. Well I suppose they could have been, I remember more than anything a lot of chaos, people running around the room, a doctor putting on his gear very quickly, bright lights, me moaning loudly. I remember saying that I wanted an epidural, but Cassie told me that I couldn't because I was crowning. The awesome part was I remember that in my dream I was a sweaty, painful mess but I didn't feel any pain. Too bad it won't be like that when I am really in labor!
I pushed briefly, then had the baby. It was a little girl. I can see her cute little face in my head. I saw her perfectly in my dream. She had dark brown wavy hair that clung to her head and a cute little button nose. She was quiet and sweet and loved when I cuddled and fed her. She took immediately to breast feeding and that made her the happiest. In my dream I was SOOOO happy she was there, and walked with her and talked to her and stroked her soft hair.
Later in the dream I asked Aaron questions about labor because I didn't really remember anything. He said labor lasted about a minute (YEAH RIGHT. LOL) that it was so quick I barely made it to the hospital. I pushed one time and she was there.
The only other parts of my dream were weird. Autumn had the baby for a minute, and two other people were with her in a Jeep and they were all smoking. I was IRATE. I yelled "Why are you smoking in front of my newborn baby?" Autumn said that it was OK because she wasn't by it. They had my baby laying face down on the back seat of the Jeep with the top down. The sun was beating on her bare skin, all she had on was a diaper and a nightgown. Then one of the other girls that was in the Jeep smoking (someone I actually went to Nursing School with, that does not smoke in real life) was calling me a bitch for yelling at them for smoking around the baby. I was pissed. That part was stupid.
The dream was what I expect to be very realistic, apart from the labor going so quickly. I was walking around with her and once realized she was cold because her little feet were mottled and I felt horrible, like the worst Mom on Earth and that this poor child was stuck with me for a mother. I assume all first time Moms are like this. That's what the first time Moms at the hospital are like. =)
When I woke up I was happy because it was such a nice dream, and at the same time sad because it was just a dream. I loved that baby so much! It was like I was absolutely infatuated with her. I could have stared at her all day long and not gotten sick of it. Now I want that to be a reality. =(
Here's hoping it happens soon!!

Check it out if ya wanna

OK so I am not going to email people like the site tells me to and ask for people to sponsor me/this cause. But I will put it up on blogs. I think that is fair enough.

http://my.yesonprop2.com/page/outreach/view/20-20/Lamorand


If I have the money to spare I am going to do it!

Baconator

Yeah, I had one.
I am a shitty vegetarian. I actually almost cried last night when I made the decision to have one. I wasn't even hungry. But I NEEDED MEAT. I am not even kidding. It was a craving like I have never ever had before. I am blaming it on the period I am just getting over, the hangover from my party Saturday night and the nazi bastard trainer that kicked my ass at the gym Saturday afternoon. Yesterday I seriously couldn't walk up or down stairs. I had to scoot on my butt and crawl.
And today for dinner I had fish and chips. Yep, fish. I don't care. I HAD to have it. My body needed to eat meat. I think I am over it now. I think I can go a few weeks now without slipping up again. So I guess I am going to one of those vegetarians that slips up now and again. It sucks, I wish I could do it full force, but damnit I don't like tofu, and soy weirds me out. I will vow to only buy free range/cage free eggs, and never eat at KFC, and adopt all future pets, not purchase from pet stores, and buy from companies that don't test on animals whenever possible, and eat meat as little as possible. I will try as much as possible to be an animal friendly person as much as I can. But come on now, that cow, pig and fish that nourished my protein and iron deficient body last night and today were already dead. It's not my fault... right? Listen to the guilty vegetarian wannabe try to justify herself. :(
But I have to say, that burger and fish were SO good. I totally feel like shit, but man, it's worth it. There is something inside me that is satiated now. Agh.
You know how on vampire movies there is always one that is torn with his blood sucking ways, that tries to not feed off the blood of unsuspecting people, only to give in to it later because he has to? I can soooo relate to that. Ugh, I suck.

Curves and why they are Bitches.

OK, so I have a Curves membership that I never use. Why? Because I am lazy and an asshole. I have no reason NOT to go, I just don't like it, music sucks, etc, but should have gone anyway because I need to lose weight and because I am paying good money for the membership.
However, they opened a LA fitness 3 miles away from my house and I REALLY want to join that. They have a pool, sauna, hot tub, elipticals, treadmills, lots of classes, etc, and it is the same amount as Curves. So I wanna do it! I literally have to pass the road it is on to go home in the mornings from work. Finally! Something I might actually stick with!
I have been putting off getting an account there because I (thought) I was paying on Curves until next month, when my membership can be cancelled after the year contract. However, today I find an old message on the phone from Curves saying to please call as soon as I can. So I call them, assuming they are going to say "Where the hell have you been?" No, they tell me there was something wrong with my card and they haven't been charging me since March. I think, Sweet, I am about to get off light. No, they say that even though I haven't been going, and they haven't contacted me to say there was a problem with my card, they say I owe $150 plus a $50 cancellation fee if I want to quit early.
So, naturally I got pissed. I have no problem paying it, but if it doesn't go through the first month, your dumb ass better call me back and tell me there is a problem. Don't call me 6 months later and tell me I owe you a shit load of money.
So, this lady told me more than once that I should take responsibility for my finances. Bitch! That is the wrong thing to say to me. We might not be rolling in the cash, but damnit our shit is paid! We might not be able to have lots of extras, but we aren't delinquent in anything either. I made sure to tell her that we may not have tons of money, but my mortgage, 2 car payments, 2 credit cards and student loans are all paid off and in good standing. She was like, that is none of my business, you're telling me too much information. Well guess what wench, if you're going to accuse me of something I didn't do and question my character over the phone, you're going to hear me defend myself over the phone. I was SO offended.
She even said to me, in quite a bitchy manner "Didn't you notice that it wasn't coming out of your account every month?" To which I replied No, I assumed you did what you were supposed to do and take the money I owed you. That's why I did direct deduction, so I didn't have to think about it. If it didn't work, why didn't you tell me 6 months ago?!??!?!
The woman I was talking to and I had a heated arguement for about 12 minutes, according to the timer on my phone. At one point I was basically just screaming at her. She tried to end the phone call, but I don't even know if I gave her the chance. Then after it all I was said to her, "Sorry for yelling at you, but I am really mad this really caught me all off guard." She responded with (finally, almost verbatim.) "You don't have anything to be sorry for, I am being completely out of line. I am really sorry. I don't feel good and I am having a really bad day and I am taking it out on you." Finally. Something that came out of her mouth that made sense!
At one point we were both acting like assholes. I was like, "You don't have to worry about me coming back there or joining again, because I won't!" All she said was "Fine!" and things of that nature. To be honest, thinking back I didn't hear a lot. When I get that angry I kinda lose control, tunnel vision etc. Wow. The Army should recruit me for combat. Just put me on the phone with that woman first and I will be set! LOL
Let me say this, I have no problem paying my bills. But if you decide to not charge me for 6 months, and then ask for it all back at once and basically call me irresponsible when YOU'RE the company, NOT me, that pisses me off. BAD. Sure, I should have noticed I suppose, but as long as everything balances out the way it should then I don't. But more than I should have done something, they should have been a responsible, and financially sound company and contacted me the first month they couldn't collect funds from me. I asked her why didn't she try to email me, or call me, or send me a letter? All she said was, "we don't use email addresses." Way to beat around the bush and NOT assume responsibility, bitch. I also remember telling her that if she didn't have documentation of all the months they tried to call me and get no response that she could basically hang it up. And also that I would get statements from Verizon proving they did NOT call me.
The phone call ended with both of us apologizing, and her taking care of everything and just deleting my account. That's a good idea, since most people would have told her to kiss their asses and not pay anyway. So, I owe nothing, and am now trying to put it all behind me. Oh yeah, and I am trying to find a constructive way to get rid of this adreneline-induced rage out of my system. Maybe I will go to LA Fitness after this blog, join up and kick someone's ass? Hmmm... it's an idea.
Part of me wonders if she just said fine it's all taken care of so I don't drive up there and kick her ass. LMAO.

Opinions are welcome here! I am curious what you guys would have done in this situation? And, correct me if I am wrong, but doesn't their lack of collecting a payment or contacting me basically count as a breach of the contract and negating it?

Randomness

Here I sit in the stable vent unit at work. It is almost 3AM and I am SO tired I can barely stand it. But, I am getting holiday pay. So I will deal with it. I can do anything for 5 more hours, right??
It is funny, I thought I was paranoid about being pregnant BEFORE I started trying. Even worse now. I have pretty horrific PMS. Well actually, PMDD. Every month I get EVIL (unless I am on my meds, which are designed to help with the PMDD, which I kinda forgot to keep taking and now the half life of the med is gone so this month I am screwed), sore, hard, swollen boobs, bloating and nauseated. Well, pretty much all of those can be symptoms of pregnancy. Now that I actually WANT to get pregnant even though physically and mentally I am miserable there is a small part of me that is excited. I have taken 2 tests, both of which have been negative, but I don't think I am even due to start my period yet, so those aren't yet necessarily definitive. If I do this to myself every month this is going to be a very emotional rollercoaster type of thing for me. But how can a woman trying to conceive not feel like that? Ugh.
A friend of mine recently told me that a woman really isn't a woman until she has had a child. I SO do not agree with that. I almost felt it was a small dig in a weird way. She is not at all the type to be like that, but she has a kid, and I don't. What would you think? I think I am a real woman regardless if I use my uterus for it's intended purpose. So I might not have a kid (yet) but I do have a career, husband, loving family and friends, 2 fabulous dogs and a house. So bam. Don't know what made me think about that enough to write about it, but there ya go.
My poor step sister Sarah and her boyfriend's apartment got broken into in Alma, MI a couple days ago. They were both home, IN BED. Thank GOD the people weren't the killing type. Just the stealing all your shit type. I hope they get caught.
And my last random thought of the day. I am a lazy bastard. I can't seem to get myself off my couch on my days off and be productive. I would rather lay around then clean my house. I mean, I still do, but I have to battle myself to do it. Why? I so want to keep my house and car nice, but the effort I must put forth to do it seems soooo taxing. Is everyone else like this or am I as lazy as I thought?
OK, if I don't stop myself I am just going to babble on here all night for something to do. Hope everyone has a better Labor Day then I am having!

The bad part of being a nurse.

There's a little girl, about 3 or 4 years old, who has been coming to my floor of the hospital since she was probably around one or so. She has a chronic condition is basically fatal in infancy or early childhood. She is a very sweet, smart, funny girl who loved to dance and take walks through the halls. She has two parents that love her to peices, they are very proud and doting parents.
One of the nurse's aides ran into the Dad this morning on her way to work and told her that their little girl is in the ICU and probably will not make it through the day. That was surprising news to all of us, we didn't even think she was sick, she wasn't in to see us at all.
Well, I made the decision to go see her after work this morning before I went home. I decided I was going to because another patient who was always with us died on the 8th, and I didn't see him before he died and I regret it. It was my last day of work before a mini-vacation and I was in a hurry to get out of there, so I thought I would just see him when I came back to work a week later. He was in the PICU for a kidney and liver transplant, so I was hoping/expecting to see him when he pulled through and was on our floor again. After all, he always pulls through. Even though he was on ECMO, I assumed "oh, he will come out of it". Well unfortunately the next time I had a chance to "visit" him was at his viewing on the 15th.
Anyway, I visited the little girl on my way home and it was HORRIBLE. I forgot how bad it is to see kids in the PICU like that. I worked in a PICU at Children's in Detroit so I know what it's like, but since I don't work on that intensive of a floor anymore I guess I just don't think about it that much. I was only there for a couple minutes, long enough to give them my number (in case they need anything since they live close) and to stand there and awkwardly look for the right thing to say, while in my head paying my respects. I am not a cryer at work, but it took absolutely everything I had to not cry until I was out of the room. As soon as I was down the hall and out of sight I pretty much cried like a little bitch. It's not cool to see that. As I am sure you can imagine.
On my way to my car I couldn't get out quick enough. You know the scene of Grey's Anatomy when Christina gets stood up at her wedding, or the scene in the SATC movie when Carrie gets stood up at her wedding, and they want their dresses off immediately like it's burning their skin? Well that's kinda like how I felt when I was trying to get out of the hospital. The elevator couldn't come quickly enough. I hated feeling like the crying people I see often in the halls at work. I would rather be the nurse, when it's sad but doesn't penetrate into more than the poker face "work me". I hated that the parents of other sick children saw me crying. I am not sure why. I just re-read those last three sentences and wonder what a psychologist would say if I told him/her that... Hmmm... Food for thought...
I also felt mad at God. I do NOT like to feel like that. Even though I don't really go to Church I feel like God has a strong presence in my life, even if I don't talk about it. It's a me-Him thing I suppose. But come on? What God lets that little girl suffer? What God would allow those parents to go through the misery of watching their child be sick and then die? All I could think of was that it was complete bullshit and I was angry. I can't even begin to comprehend the anger and pain her parents must feel. They have to watch her die and then have her funeral, and then go home after it's all done and see their house, with her bedroom and everything she owned. Shoes at the front door, probably toys in the living room... ugh. I am pretty sure that if I had a child die I wouldn't be able to handle it and I would end up being an alcoholic or addicted to drugs. I have panic attacks over my dogs' health problems, if my child died... no. I would be done. So would Aaron.
I have since calmed down and am not angry at God anymore. There must be a reason, even if we don't understand it. All I know is I hope it's a good reason.
I hate blogging about stuff like this because when people read it they probably feel obligated to comment on it. I feel so much better to get this stuff off my chest though. I am not sure why writing it helps, but I am glad it does. Maybe I can get her out of my mind for more than 5 minutes when I am awake now. Here's hoping.
Something kind of interesting... I looked up her condition and there are 60 known cases of it. I have taken care of 2 children with it. Wow.
Next post will be something happy!

Just in case you didn't already know...

Aaron and I are trying to have a baby.
I have actually been off birth control since February... and lemme tell ya.. if I would have known it would have taken this long I would NOT have worried all those years before I got married. HA!
Between Feb. and now we have just been not preventing, so now we've decided to make a more official "go" of it and try. So I will really try to pay attention to when I'm ovulating, you know, all that stuff. I am hoping to be like Kim and the first time I look at a penis at the right time of my cycle I conceive. However I am not expecting it!
There is a girl at my work who is also trying to get pregnant who has the same LMP day as me... interesting to see what will happen there. Will we get pregnant at the same time? Will one of us conceieve way before the other one and leave the other one in the dust? No, it is not a competition, but you know what I mean. She already has a couple kids, at least we know she is fertile. I am hoping I am but no real proof yet!
We have been waiting for the perfect time to start trying, but then a day or two before my birthday we were in the car going to trivia and I had a realization... I told Aaron, "I am almost 28! I am done with waiting... I am ready to start trying now. I am close to 30!"
So yes, the timing may not be perfect. But people tell me that if you wait for the right time, or until you get that new car, or new whatever then you'll NEVER be ready. You just kinda gotta go for it. So we are going for it. I assume it will take a while to get there anyway, so we have the months we are trying to conceive to tie up any loose ends we have.
But the things we already have going for us... we have a 3 bedroom house. In that respect we are ready. We have a place for the kid to sleep. We both have jobs, cars, health insurance, etc. so the baby would have all needs taken care of. The rest will I am sure fall into place. We will both make sure anything else that is not taken care of will be resolved before I go into labor. :)
With that being said, I have to go to get ready for work. Blah. I am sick of working.

It's my own damn fault...

My 2 dogs, Bear and Harvey, are fabulous. I love them dearly. But sometimes they drive me nuts. And it really probably is my fault...

For example:
When I come home from work, I have to go in the basement and let Harvey out of the kennel and get them both in the upstairs with me... even if that means nearly pissing myself because I have to go so bad. Because if not... they will scream in disapproval that I am home and they are not up my ass. So, rather than hear them be sad, I suffer (albeit briefly), take care of them first and then see to myself. They would be in NO harm to have to wait for me to go to the bathroom first, I just can't handle them being upset.
After I get them from the basement they give me tons and loves, and I give them some back as I walk up the stairs with my legs crossed. Then, while I use the bathroom, they are both in the bathroom with me, I have to pet them. Again, I suppose I don't HAVE to, but they are so excited to see me, and I am happy to see them. It seems like rejection if they can't have the first couple minutes with Mommy, right?
Then, after I use the restroom I either get in the shower, or if I am too tired wash my face and do all the night time stuff to get ready for bed. This morning was a get-in-my-pj's-and-screw-the-shower-till-later morning. But by this point all three of us are my in little bathroom. I either am so tired or so used to the situation (not sure) that I actually go in the HALLWAY to put my pajamas on just so I have a little more room, since the dogs are practically burrow into my ass. I am trying to get my first leg in my pjs when I accidentally knee Bear in the head because he come out into the hallway to be closer to me while I was getting ready. Thank God there wasn't much force to it, although he deserved a nudge I would have hated to hurt him!
I thought getting a second dog would eliminate Bear following me everywhere I go. I thought (blissfully unaware) that the dogs would occupy themselves and leave me alone for a little bit when I was doing boring things, like laundry. Nooo.... this is not the case. Now when I do laundry and go back and forth between my laundry chute and laundry room in the basement I have not one, but TWO dogs following me. Why are they following me? Are they trying to learn how to do laundry? Is there something they can accomplish from this? Does it make sense why I am blogging this?
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. They are my Babies. But sometimes I wonder what the difference is between them and real children. Well, apart from copraphagia.
They make me want to scream and pull my hair out sometimes... but they love me unconditionally. You can see it in their eyes when we come home from a long day of work. I always get sad when I pull out of the driveway at night for work and I see them both look out our front window and watch me drive away. We (Aaron and I) love them unconditionally too. :)
OK, enough sappiness about dogs. I am going to bed now. Gotta work again tonight!

Update on Meatless me

It was been 7 whole days since I last ate meat. My conclusion... it's not really as shitty as I thought it was going to be!
What sucks is shopping, really. I like to buy quick things for lunches. I was pissed at Hot Pockets... they have ONE flavor without meat. 4 cheese pizza. I am sure it is good, but even their lean pockets don't have anything devoted to alternative diets! Geez! I have a feeling that Morningstar Farms and I are going to be best buddies.
Eating out can also suck, depending on where you go. Tonight we are going to go to Al-Ameer for my b-day dinner, they have a vegetarian section. Yay!
Going green (haha) has made meal time a little more fun. I have to put thought into my meals now. And didn't really realize it before but meat on some level has always grossed me out a little bit. Guess I just ignored it before. Guess I had to so I could keep eating it.
Some things I have realized:
1. Vegetarian fried rice from Chinese places= Good.
2. Mushrooms are running f*cking rampant in veggie foods and they must be stopped!
3. If a mushroom is even in my mouth, I gag.
4. Beans are good...
5. Tofu feels like a cooked sponge. EEEEW.
I have known #3 to be true for some time but the theory was retested a few days ago on veg. fried rice. I couldn't even taste it, but I felt something SO gross on my tongue, and then there I went with the wretch. Since I can't make myself eat one due to the gagging, my theory is that I am probably deathly allergic to them and that is my body's only defense mechanism.
OK well I want to blog more but I have to go.

Sluts

Last night I went the party of a good friend whom I have known since 1999. He has this party every year, everyone attends, it is a good time. Like always, Aaron and I went. Nothing unusual there.
Well, there were a couple women there that I had never met before. Someone had to know them, so they were friends of some of my friends somehow. At first I thought nothing of it, it is not unusual for there to be new faces at parties. We're a friendly bunch of people and new people are always welcome.
One of them was definitely on the prowl... hey more power to her. She didn't mess with my husband so I am not concerned. What people do is their thing, I usually don't really bother myself with it. In my younger years I was a little judgemental and I have tried to get over that. I am happy to say I have done very well with it.
However... there was this one woman whose actions were appalling. OK, she may be a nice woman, she may have good qualities... but at this point I don't even care. She conducted herself like a common slut. She was DYING for any... ANY male attention she could get. I saw her leave the party a couple times with a guy and come back a while later, tousled hair and the back of her shirt dirty and crumpled. She had the nerve to look ashamed. Bitch, if you're ashamed of what you're doing... DON'T DO IT. Or at least be a little more inconspicuous!
Not 10 minutes after she came back the SECOND time from leaving the party to get hers, I saw her lift her shirt for two more guys. Now she had double the attention, at once. Are you KIDDING me?! I was sitting in eyeshot of it all and I obviously got up and walked away.
Now if some of you are saying, "if you're not concerned with what other people are doing, why did you know when she left? etc. etc." There are two reasons for this. 1. It was not a huge party. After a few hours of being there and looking at people you can tell when people are missing. 2. After a while it became a source of entertainment for Autumn and I... watching stupid people act stupid is fun. We made a drinking game out of it. When someone acted a fool in front of us we clinked our glasses and took a drink. No exaggeration we went through 2 fifths of Malibu. LOL!!!
Now, if someone I know was acting like this it would be a different too. Is that a double standard? Maybe. But I don't care, my friends are more like family to me... pretty much no matter what they do I am going to accept them and love them as they are. Plus, they would be among friends that they know they could trust. Sure, it would probably not be in their better judgement to do it, but whatever. At least it is not a room full of complete strangers doing all this to/with them.
I don't blame a girl/guy for having sex. If you want to have sex, do it. We're all adults here. It's a natural thing to want to do. But if it comes to a point that you're embarrassed by your own actions, maybe you need to do a little self-reflection and make some life changes. Or maybe take a brush with you to your next romp in the hay in a back yard or car. LOL
People wonder why there is a pornographic industry that dehumanizes/objectifies women... because there are dumbasses out there who will let them! Like this one!
OK, I am done now. I have exercised the demons!

You May be Right... I May be Crazy...

My love for animals and a preoccupation for their rights has been leading me to do progressively bolder things.
It used to be I would just donate the occasional dollar to the save a homeless dog thing at PetSmart when I would buy food or treats for Bear. Then we adopted Harvey, which truly opened my eyes to the plethora of homeless, sad, scared, hungry, defenseless animals there are out there. Then I started trying to get more involved with Last Day Dog Rescue, the rescue that brought us Harvey. Now it is starting to snowball. As soon as I can afford it (AKA my Birthday money... how pathetic AM I?) I am going to donate to PETA and become a member.
And... here's the clincher.
I am going to try out vegetarianism.
GASP!
I have actually been thinking about it for a while now. I have seen my belief system go in this direction for some time but knew I would have to attempt this when I was ready. It feels like a big commitment to me. I didn't want to cut out my biggest protein source when I could be getting pregnant, or when I wasn't sure I could put my 100% into it. It's a lifestyle change and I wanted to take it seriously.
But with all the stuff I have been reading, researching, learning... it feels right to begin this now.
Yesterday I signed a pledge from PETA to be vegetarian for 30 days. Doing it made me actually commit to something I had always wanted to try anyway.
Actually making the decision was kind of interesting in a way, because of the new things I now have to take into consideration. There are a couple things to figure out. Will I be an ovo-lacto vegetarian... meaning will I eat cheese and eggs? The answer to that is a big fat hell yes. I realize I need some kind of protein, more than friggin' peanut butter. So yes, cheese and I will still be an item. I can reduce the chances of animals suffering for my nourishment by getting free-range eggs and maybe umm... I dunno, organic milk?

According to www.reference.com...
A lacto-ovo vegetarian is a vegetarian who does not eat beef, pork, poultry, fish, shellfish or animal flesh of any kind, but is willing to consume cheese, butter, yogurt and eggs. Lacto- means "milk" and ovo- means "egg".
In the Western world lacto-ovo vegetarians are the most common type of vegetarian. Generally speaking, when one uses the term vegetarian a lacto-ovo vegetarian is assumed. Lacto-ovo vegetarians are often well-catered to in restaurants and shops, especially in Europe and metropolitan cities in North America.

Some lacto-ovo vegetarians who are motivated by ethical reasons may avoid fertilized eggs as well as caviar, feeling that both involve the killing of beings or torture and exploitation of source animals. They avoid cheese that contains rennet and yogurts that contain gelatin as these two things involve killing.

The very thought of caviar makes me want to vomit. I think I can find it in me to give that up too. I didn't even know what rennet was, so I looked it up and took the liberty of copying and pasting the info that I found from the same site here:
Rennet, substance containing rennin, an enzyme having the property of clotting, or curdling, milk. It is used in the making of cheese and junket. Rennet is obtained from the stomachs of young mammals living on milk, especially from the inner lining of the fourth, or true, stomach (abomasum) of milk-fed calves.

Wow. I am glad I already ate before I read this. I felt a quasi-wretch with that one. If I would have KNOWN this had to happen for some cheeses to be made, than maybe I would have given that up years ago. YUCK. In case you're also wondering where you can get rennet free cheese, here is a veggie forum that can give you some pointers. http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=46149
Maybe one day I will be able to be vegan. As of right now this is not an option. To me, the thought of being a vegan is like the equivalent of a Muslim woman deciding to wear the hijab. It is the ultimate proof of your devotion to a set of beliefs. While I think that sure, they are both great ideas in theory, and I admire people who are capable of doing it, I am not ready for anyhing like that yet. My vegetarianism is SOOOO in its infancy.
So, you might think this is a good thing to do, you might think I'm an idiot. But when it all comes down to it, I feel good about the decision I have made. According to www.peta.org I can save over 100 lives a year by not eating meat. That makes me feel so much better to know that. And it is actually quite sad to think that since I have started eating meat regularly, lets say since 1982, when I was two years old... approximately 2600 animals had to die for me to sustain my fat ass. Wow. 2600 lives to nourish ONE.

Here is the video I watched that made me make the final decision to try it out, if you want to see it. It is pretty graphic, be warned.



Watch more videos at PETA.org

I will keep you all posted about how going veg affects me. I wonder how much I am going to miss it? I was never a HUGE carnivore, but I probably still ate meat in some fashion almost daily. Well, so far the last time I ate meat was Tuesday night and so far so good. No meltdown yet! The biggest obstacle I assume will be around my period. I usually crave beef then. God, I sound like a vampire.

OK, well I have written all this after getting home from a 12 hour shift. I am SO ready for bed now. If you actually read this whole thing you are a trooper! :)

Damn am I going to miss bacon.

KFC- to eat or not to eat?

So for a while now I have heard about www.kentuckyfriedcruelty.com and chose to not look. Partly for selfish reasons, I like their food! Also partly because I know if I watch it I will probably never eat chicken, or any other kind of meat, again.
Well, I finally made myself go there, I am just sickened. I want to forward it to everyone in hopes that it affects you all the same way. Not to sound all after school special, but... If enough people care and act on it, then something will change and these animals' lives will improve. I tried to put the videos in this post but the site wouldn't let me.
I don't know how the people that work there can sleep at night. I wouldn't be able to do that job for one second. Hell, while driving home from WV I saw a homeless dog on the side of road, all skinny and friendly and I cried all the way to Ohio!
I hope you will go to the site and see for yourself...

Old Blogs so I can erase my second blogspot account

I used to have another blogspot.com account but I never use it anymore. Here are the old posts I had on it. I will put them here so I don't lose them... but I do want to erase the old account. I hope I am not doubling up on the old blogs I am posting. Hmmm I will have to double check that. For some reason I just can't erase my old blogs. This is probably why I still have every nursing school paper I have ever written. I guess I just value my thoughts. :) Probably because I have so few of them. LOL




This week
Hello! Since Aaron had to leave for National Guard Annual Training this morning, we made a point of spending some time together before he left. Thursday we had dinner at Joe's Crab Shack in Ann Arbor because they were having a fundraiser for Mott. 10% of what we spent went toward building the new hospital. It was good!!! Then Friday we went to the Simpsons Movie, which was funny! After that we spent a grueling 1+ hrs looking at paint for the new house at Home Depot, and then out to dinner again. Good LORD there are a lot of paint colors out there. And if any of you are creative or anything and have cool ideas, please let us know. Right now we are wishing that we could afford an interior decorator... at least for paint. We want a deep burgundy wall color for our bedroom but can't figure out a way to do it without making the room all red and boxed in feeling... grrr.....Picking out paint for the "baby room" is exciting because even though we aren't even trying to have a baby yet, it is proof to me that we will soon enough! It is exciting! I want nothing more than to be pregnant. We know it isn't quite the right time yet, but I can't wait for the day when all of a sudden it IS the right time!Anyhow, it stinks that Aaron has to be gone for 2 weeks but hopefully I will be so busy packing and preparing to move that time will fly by...PS- if any of you reading this are on this site to blog too, can you please tell me how I am supposed to put pictures up here, and how I can put my friends' blogs on the right hand side of the page like other people do? I don't know how to do that yet, but I would like to! Thanks much! :)
Posted by andrealamorand at 4:55 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Friends and Support
This won't be an incredibly long post, I would just like to say how blessed we are for having the friends we have. I sent out an email about our new house to the Phi Sigma Pi alumni listserv and got literally 10+ different people emailing me back within 24 hours to congratulate us. It is just a good feeling to know that even if you don't see them as much as you would like, there are friends out there who care about you and would be there for you in an instant. Even years later I can still say that joining Phi Sigma Pi was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It DEFINITELY changed my life for the better. =) I love and miss my brothers!!PS- for those of you who don't know already, I met Aaron through Chris Szabo, a Phi Sigma Pi alumni. His Halloween Party in 2003 is where we met. :)
Posted by andrealamorand at 11:01 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Nickelback
Last night we had an opportunity to go to the Daughtry/Staind/Nickelback concert at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit. My dad had bought tickets for my brother to go, but at the last minute his friend stood him up so my brother didn't want to go after that. So... we went. It was a good time, apart from the HALF HOUR BATHROOM LINES. Nickelback puts on a great show, I definitely recommend going to one of their concerts if you have a chance. All the bands were great. I am glad we went! I think they overfilled the place though, because the bathroom lines were ridiculous! I had a girl come up to me and beg me to let her go in front of me in the bathroom line. She offered money and everything, and I told her the only thing she could offer me that would be worthwhile was a pair of dry pants, because I would need them if someone else was in front of me in line. I think there was swearing involved, there was NO way I was letting that girl cut in line. LOL Andrea with a full bladder is NOT very nice. Now I feel bad for the girl but she needed to do the time like I did. Who knows, it might make her devekop a little character? muahahaha....
Posted by andrealamorand at 5:29 AM 0 comments
Labels: music
Monday, July 16, 2007

First Post
Hello!I thought this would be a good way to catch everyone up on what is going on in our lives. 2007 has definitely been the best year of our lives. April 21st Aaron and I got married, it was such a beautiful day! The weather was perfect, we had our friends and family with us celebrating, the day went off (almost) without a hitch! Then our honeymoon in Universal Studios was after that, and it was a blast. I recommend EVERYONE go there!Shortly after we got back, Aaron got a new job, a good job! He has been there for just over 2 months now. On May 2nd, Aaron's sister Kim gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Sadie Rose. She is happy and healthy, and we couldn't ask for a better neice! I swear the little girl's smile is addictive! =)And as if we needed anything else to make this year go great, Aaron and I will be closing on our FIRST HOME in about 3 weeks! YAY!!!!! It is 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bathroom ranch in Westland, within walking distance of Hines Park. And it has a fenced in back yard for our dog Bear, which is fabulous. Watch out for an invitation for a cookout, we don't know when it will be yet but we know we want to have one to celebrate our new house. =)Well this is about all I have for now. Thanks for reading, hopefully it didn't bore you to tears, ;) and we will be sure to blog about any news we have!!
Posted by andrealamorand at 11:30 AM 0 comments
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Back!

Well the trip to Virginia was a lot of things. Fun, refreshing, relaxing, interesting, family oriented, all those things I needed.
We rode down in a rented van. It was my Dad, his wife/my step-mother Laura, my brother Brent, sister Brianna and me. We drove down there Thursday morning after I got off work and stayed over night in a hotel in Marietta, Ohio. It is the town just before the bridge to West Virginia. If you ever get the chance to go to Marietta, do it! It is a little, old fashioned, stereotypical Midwestern American town. Stereotypical in a GOOD way, though. It was pretty, nestled in some hills, with a big lake, and a foot bridge, old fashioned shops with some really cute antiques and gift shops, and a pasta shop from out of this world! Awesome flavored stuff there! They also have a soda museum. I know, it sounds lame. But the inside is a 1950's themed soda shop. They have tons of memoribilia there, everything is for sale if you want it. Very cool place. If I take the same route to VA again I will definitely stay there or at least visit again! Marietta reminded me of the type of town that Steven King would use as a setting for a horror story. Everything is hunky-dory, then BAM!- alien invasion or something to that effect.
We got to WV on Friday. It is SO beautiful there. The tree covered mountains and fresh air are such a change from flat, busy, grey Metropolitan Detroit. We stayed in Bluefield Virginia for the next two nights. Well, my family did. I stayed with Nicki on Friday night. While we were in Bluefield we visited the mausoleum where my grandfather and several other family members are laid to rest. (At first I had buried there, but they aren't really buried at all. What is the correct term?) It was the first time my dad and I had been there since my grandfather passed away in 1996. It is a beautiful place. However, the stench was horrific. I can only imagine it was the stench of deteriorating bodies, unfortuately. It's too bad, it really did take away from the visit/mourning with my family members. There was also a gnat in there which grossed me out, because they have a rule of no fresh flowers, only fake. I can only imagine what drew that little guy there, which is disappointing and gross since I have family there. But the worst part was seeing my Dad cry and stand on his tip-toes to touch the plaque with his father's name on it. He just barely got it with his fingertips. I would have let him stand on my back if he had to. Anything to comfort him and hopefully make it hurt less... although I doubt anything would really help that situation. It hurt to see him upset, but what was even worse for me was thinking that one day I will have to visit him like that. I swear I am going to die when he dies. It will break my heart. I can't imagine the world without my dad. Mortality sucks.
On a (very slightly) brighter note, I got to see and take pictures of the headstones of my great grandmother and grandfather, as well as an uncle that died the day he was born and a great geat uncle. It sounds kinda morbid to want to see it in a way, but it is my family's history. Out of respect I should go there. I never got to meet any of them, so it was not really sad.
OK Seriously on a brighter note, I got to see my old and very dear friend Nicki. I have known her since 5th grade. I got to meet her new husband (I couldn't make it down for the wedding because I was in Nursing School) and see her house. I unfortunately didn't get to meet her 2 year old daughter Hope. I really wish I could have, she is a beautiful little girl! Nicki is 50% Chippewa, and her daughter looks just like her.
The family wedding was great! A little awkward at first... I am walking by people waiting for them to recognize my Dad, because I definitely can't put the names with the faces! I met a few of my dad's first cousins as well as a great aunt. I also met Elaine, the woman that married my cousin (well 2nd cousin if you want to get technical) Mark. The little bit I got to talk to her, she is very nice. Stressed, since it was her wedding day, but nice. My family is all hilarious and crazy. It was such a great feeling to have them come up and give us all big hugs and be so welcoming even though we haven't seen them in 12 years. It is nice to know that we could just land on one of their front porches one day and be welcome in their homes. I really need to go back down there again and visit more often. :)
The wedding was outside in the front lawn of her parents' house, which was an old dormitory from a teacher's college back in the day. They live in the moutains, so that house must have been old as hell! The pictures I have of the ceremony are beautiful -- a very happy bride and groom underneath a little flowery arc with big green mountains in the background.
Well, if you actually read this whole damn thing, WOW. I could barely write it. haha. In closing, my mini vacation was great! I want to go back down there soon and bring Aaron so he can see why I say I want to move there.