It's getting harder and harder with every day to be in Texas. I am far away from everyone and everything I know. I have a baby that almost no one has met, and it kills me that her own family doesn't know her, apart from my mom, dad, step mom, mother in law and brother and sister. While I am SO grateful they have had the chance to meet her, there are so many more to go! Aaron works all the time, so not only do I have none of the comforts of home, but I am alone raising a baby *practically* by myself. Having said that though, Aaron is an excellent father and does tons for Izzie whenever he gets the chance. He adores his daughter, and it makes me love him even more than I did before I had her. :)
One of my friends posted this on facebook, and it made me think so I am going to re-post it and give my thoughts on it.
God sends us what we need just when we need it, sometimes He's early BUT He's never late! Remember that Andrea God will give you what you need to get out of that hell hole soon!
She made me think... maybe why we are here is because we needed to learn something different from the lives we were already living. Maybe we had to be in another environment to get something out of life that God thought we were lacking. So I am going to write a list of all the things I have learned here in hopes that God will read my list, decide we have done what needs to be done, and let us go home!!
1. I have learned how to say goodbye to (almost) everyone I love. It was painful, but I learned that I am strong enough to do it. I might not be happy, but I am surviving. I continue to exist.
2. I have learned that my husband and I are a strong couple that is very devoted to each other. This is one of those situations that will either "make or break" a couple, and it has just given more proof that we are meant to be together. That's a great feeling.
3. I have learned that I can get pregnant, because I did. I also learned what pregnancy is like, and I got the added bonus of high risk pregnancy. Yippee! But I wouldn't trade it for anything, it is the best thing I have ever done. I try not to complain because there are so many out there who can't get pregnant at all, I was one of the lucky ones.
4. I have learned what its like to be a mother and experience the most (in my opinion) powerful bond in the world. I don't care if everyone I know is crying, the ONLY one that is going to make my boobs leak is Isabella! Bonds don't get much stronger than that!!
5. I have learned some Spanish and been immersed in what I can only describe as a different culture.
6. I have learned what it feels like to be a minority.
7. I have gotten experience in pre and post operative nursing, including IV starts.
8. I got my first brown recluse bite here, super! :/
9. Two words: Frito Pie.
10. I learned to maneuver through San Antonio highways and traffic.
11. I have learned how to budget, finally. That lesson was a very tough one to learn!
12. I have never prayed this much in my life. While I have only gone to church once since I have been here, The Big Guy and I converse often. Well, I talk, He listens. I am waiting for a response!
13. I am still learning what it's like to live alone in a new place. Yes Aaron and I live together, but he works so much that I don't get to see him often. Most days I am alone. But when we do have the same days off it's great, we always try to make sure and enjoy our time together. So there's...
14. I am learning how to appreciate the small things. A lot of times those small things are all we get! Having dinner together at home and a half hour of sitting on the couch before one of us has to go to bed is often the only time we get together for a day or two. So our social life has gone from parties nearly every weekend and living close to lots of friends, to mac and cheese on the couch while watching an episode of SNL that is saved on the DVR. But when its all you get, you have to learn to appreciate it.
15. I have learned a little bit about respect here. I never realized it, but people from the North rarely use "Ma'am" and "Sir". Here that is just how you address people. And since I have seen that I will try to raise Isabella to address her elders saying Ma'am and Sir.
OK so I think it goes to show that in 10 1/2 months I have learned a lot. I have had a lot of life experiences here. So, that being said, hopefully God realizes this and decides that we have gone through enough and we deserve to go home. Fingers crossed!!!!