Isabella Maria

Isabella Maria
Her 3 week pictures... such an angel!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Final Thoughts on Pregnancy

In a week from today I will be in the hospital being induced so I can have my little girl. Time has FLOWN by! I know I thought it would take forever to get here, and now I can definitely say that I was wrong.
It's kinda funny how many emotions I am experiencing right now. I am SOOO excited to meet my baby, see what she looks like, kiss and hug her, etc. I am scared for the labor. I am scared of the responsibility of being another person's eyes and ears for the next however many years of her life... because I am petrified of hurting her. I have wanted this for so long and have finally been blessed with it, but still I am nervous about it. I am a little sad too, because in a way I don't want the pregnancy to be over. I mean, I know I can't live this way forever (and I certainly don't want to either, haha!) but I will miss having her so close to me. I imagine what it will be like when they take her away to weight and measure her, and give her a quick health assessment and it makes me sad because I want to have her with me for those first few minutes. As of right now I know her better than anyone else in the world. Part of me doesn't want to share that. One day I will be her lame ass mom who is embarrassing and so mean and doesn't get it... but right now we're like a little team. I know there will be years of me being cool, and fun, and the best cook ever (poor unknowing soul, haha) but I dread the day when she would rather talk to her friend than her Mom. Am I ridiculous or what? I am literally crying while I type this. Stupid emotional cow. LOL.