I went to dinner to Chili's with a couple friends tonight. It's the weekend, we're all happy to be out and have fun together, everything was going very well.
Until the waitress came. (Don don don...) She said, practically verbatim: "Hi, my name is Jamie and I will be taking care of you today. The menus are over there, and (clincher here, while looking at me) she said: FOR EVERYONE BUT YOU WE HAVE DRINK SPECIALS... I stopped what I was doing, looked at her and said "EXCUSE ME?" And she stopped dead in her tracks, started stumbling over her words, looking very uncomfortable. BITCH!
So let me paint a little picture for you. I am wearing a black tank top with black matching cardigan over it, with black capri/gaucho pants. I am in a booth, and since I am short my chest is basically sitting on the table. Now unless I seriously underestimated myself, I don't thinkthat I am pouring out of the booth, nor do I have that special pregnancy induced "glow". To try to cover her tracks a second later she says, "Did I use to work with you? You look familiar. Oh, I thought you were someone else, I am so embarrassed." Bitch no you didn't. You are trying to cover up the fact that you are an IDIOT and thought I was pregnant by trying to "confuse" me with another person who obviously was pregnant. Good try. I was born at night, not last night.
I will be the first person to admit it, I am overweight. However, my gut is a fat girl gut, it does not in any way resemble a protruding uterus. Unless you actually can get a muffin top from a growing fetus, I am confused about this mistake. And while this girl wasn't what I would call fat, she had a pooch herself, which I graciously ignored throughout the evening. I should have told her I was about as far along as she was. With a food baby.
We almost left. I am appalled, and so were my friends. We spent the rest of our time there cracking jokes about all the things we could have, and probably should have, said to her. I almost felt bad for her toward the end, actually questioning if she had a closed head injury. She was either a victim of a head injury or seriously the MOST IGNORANT WOMAN ON EARTH. It was painful to listen to her talk. I am sure having an audience of three people looking at you in disgust doesn't make you exactly comfortable, so I supposed it could have been the fact that she was mortified and just hoping the ground would open up and swallow her whole.
In the end we left, but not before leaving an adequate tip. Usually I tip 20% or depending on the service received. She obviously got what she deserved in our eyes.
I am not going to let her ruin my night though. I will sit my fat ass on the couch, watch TV and enjoy the company of good friends. Oh yeah, and go to the gym in the morning.
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6 comments:
I'm sorry that happened to you. I fear it will happen to me sooner than later. I think part of the reason this happened to you is, unlike me your face is fairly thin, while your middle is thick, so people assume. I'm fat all over, so no one is brave enought assume I'm pregnant, even when I am. Go to the gym! I need to go to, but I suck. DOn't suck!!
Oh, dear. Do not make assumptions. As Samuel L. Jackson once said, that just makes an ass out of you and umption.
What gets me is the bitch didn't even SEE my middle. I was in a booth! Sitting! None of us got it. She wasn't at the door when we came in, either.
I know this was upsetting to you but, honestly, you have missed your calling as a writer. I love reading your stuff. You are like a different person when you write. If I didn't know you I'd think you were an author. On the other hand, if it had been me I would have spent the rest of the night trying to make HER feel better about what she did and hate her for the rest of my life. Thats because I'm a wimp. I doubt she will make such an assumption again.
Since you can't figure out why she singled you out is it possible it was mistaken identity? Or was the cover up that bad? Anyway, there is nothing I can say to make up for that ignorant girl. Just remember, you are loved.
that sucks outloud. and you don't look pregnant but even if you did i have personally comet o the same realization that all people should embrace - you never never never speak first. i swear to dianna that if a woman was in labor in front of me i'd offer her a cup of tea and talk to her about the weather until she spoke the words 'i'm pregnant'
and once they tell you - you are still not out of the clear!! you make no assumptions about how far along.
personally i think you could have ended the title after "allowed" :)
There must be a stupid epidemic in this country. I hear people say the dumbest things all of the time. I just wonder how they go through day to day life.
You should have grilled her on who she thought you where. Or at least came back with “And we have a tip for all of the wait staff but you!”
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