Things that are pissing me off Volume #2.

Sorry. I have nothing better to do but clean my house or blog. And my back hurts too bad to clean. Sooo....

The Real Housewives of Orange County: Seeing as how I have no life and it was on because I missed Top Chef (which is good, BTW... saw it for the first time today.) I decided to watch this abomination of a TV show. I learned that money does NOT make the man or woman. All they are is a bunch of petty poor little rich girls that gossip and bitch. It was painful. I almost had to change the channel when their ignorant daughters were talking... all the "ums" and "likes" were burning my brain. I am sure at least one of their parents has to be smart, like their father who probably works his ass off to put those little brats in their Gucci this and Prada that... but you wouldn't be able to tell any of them are smart because they can't parent a child worth a damn. The episode I watched, they had a "Youthologist" come to talk to their "challenging" daughter. Well I think I am going to move to California or wherever the hell these idiots live and be an "Assholologist" to help people that are Assholes become more normal, less irritating people. I am pretty sure that chimps are better parents than these people. I don't care if I am middle class, or lower middle class, or whatever I would be considered, I would MUCH rather live paycheck to paycheck than be as embarrassingly materialistic and painfully dumb as these people are. I can't believe our society flaunts our stupidity by putting people like this on TV. Why can't we have a reality show about people who live in reality? What about teaching Americans about the brave men and women who are currently doing a tour in Afghanistan, or the struggles that middle school teachers face? If it is possible for me to lose more respect for the media, then it just happened.

MORE unsolicited advice about pregnancy! MORE!!! No Cassie not you! :)
There are people at work who just can't help themselves. One saw me walking down the hall with a Coke and said "You can't have that... the Baby..." In a word, BITCHYESIFUCKINGCAN. Here is my proof. And anyone with eyes can read a can of Coke and see that it has 34 mg of caffeine per 12 ounce serving. Yes, I try to have only 1 can of Coke per day. Sometimes I slip and have 2. And if I have a Excedrin tension headache I make sure to not have any Coke because it has a lot of caffeine in it. Let's look at it like this: I quit smoking, I don't come within 3 feet of any alcohol, I avoid artificial sweeteners like the plague, I don't eat soft cheese or lunch meat even though I would love to, I avoid taking even Tylenol even though I am in enough pain daily to make me cry (even though it is safe for the baby I figure it's safer not to)... I KNOW WHAT I CAN AND CAN NOT HAVE AND IF I DON'T KNOW I WILL ASK. Before I got cheese at the deli I made sure it was Pasteurized or else I wouldn't even buy it! Lay OFF me people!!!
Someone also told me that if I sit too much when I am pregnant the baby will have a cone head. *Sigh*. Now, correct me if I am wrong, I am not an Obstetrician, but I am pretty sure that the molding of the head only happens when the baby is in the birth canal, yes? And my 15 week old fetus's head is probably the size of a grape? And I am also pretty sure that my tiny precious little baby is happily swimming in a vast pool of amniotic fluid and no where near going into a birthing position anytime soon... so I rest my case.
This same someone also gave me a horrified look when I told her how excited I was to go to the Chiropractor. "But the BABY!!!" So I don't DIE between now and late July of excruciating back pain that started before I ever got pregnant, since I can't take anything for the pain besides Tylenol and Pez, I am going to an expert who can help me. Unless they know something I don't, like the Chiropractor is going to take the baby out and crack it's back, or I must take a hit of acid before they will see me, what is the harm in a little alternative therapy? It's not like I am going sky diving for God sakes! The worst thing I do is DRINK COKE. NOT DO COKE.
I know people mean well but one day I am going to lose it and scream. I just try to remind myself daily that it is only out of love and concern. But try telling my estrogen and progesterone (and whatever other crazy hormones are running through my veins) that.

So this didn't piss me off but it was funny so I must share. Aaron did something really funny and made me laugh HARD at him yesterday. I ran to the bathroom because apparently all that laughing made me feel like I was going to pee out the teaspoon of urine in my bladder that I had produced in the last 5 minutes since my last bathroom trip. So I am in the bathroom, LMAOing it up, while I pee, and tears start to run down my face because I am laughing so hard. Then, for reasons that I can't understand or explain, my laughs turn into sobs and in 5 seconds flat my good mood is shattered and I am crying for ABSOLUTELY no reason. This makes me laugh more, which makes me cry more. WTF???!?! Are you kidding me right now. Then, sobbing and with an empty bladder, I go to Aaron, crying, to tell him that I am crying and I have no idea why. He looks at me rightfully as the crazy bitch that I am.
Pregnancy is wonderful and weird as HELL!

Freaky Thumb AKA "Non-Bendy"

My thumb on my right hand does not bend. It never has a day in it's little life. I went to an orthopedic specialist when I was about 6 and it turns out my thumb's tendon is under-developed so it never had the strength to bend it. It looks a little freaky... have you ever seen a thumb with no creases?! It's bizarre I tell you. I am used to it. When I was a kid it was a topic of conversation. Kids enjoy showing off their hidden talents like being able to flip their eyelids inside out, but I was almost always the coolest, as mine was a congenital abnormality that no one could learn how to do. In my teenage and young(er) adult years it felt like something to be ashamed of, so I hid it as best I could. Hell, I didn't even tell Aaron until we had been together for about a year because I was scared he would break up with me for being different. LOL. I am so melodramatic at times, its not like it's my leg or neck that doesn't bend. Lord.
Once in a great while, I will be going about my day, doing countless insignificant things and I will see my left thumb bend and think to myself "OH MY GOD! I DID IT! IT BENT! MY THUMB CAN BEND!" And then I realize my Non-Bendy is on my right hand. The first couple times it was quite a let down! After that I laugh at myself, call myself an asshole or some other insult equally fitting, and go on about my day.
Recently, Aaron and I were sitting on the couch and he was showing me some sign language that he learned because his first girlfriend was deaf (I am sorry, if he can look past a girl not having one of the 5 basic senses, why in the HELL would he care about a thumb?? Stupid girl...). I realized that I was not able to do some words/letters because of my thumb.
This made me wonder, half kidding, half honestly curious... does my non-bendy mean that in the sign language community I would be considered to have a speech impediment? LOL
Just wanted to share this. It almost feels like I came out of the "mild, insignificant congenital abnormality closet". LOL. I hope my baby can bend everything. You know how new parents count all their kids digits? I will be bending mine. :)

Obsessed with listening to the heart beat.

I think I blog about silly little things because I can't just call or talk to my friends like I used to be able to. I like to get it all out, even if no one is really listening/reading. haha.
Last night I tried listening to the baby's heartbeat and thought I found it but was not sure. But I heard a while lot of what I can only imagine is fetal movement on the doppler. I was laying on my side with the hand piece definitely not moving because I had it firmly on my belly and was resting that hand on my leg. I know it wasn't because I was moving it. But I heard tons of "whoosh" noises, so I think it was Cletus swimming around in there. I know once I was with a nurse practitioner at my doctor's office and we heard a whoosh and she said it sounded like fetal movement. :) SO based on that I think that's what it was.
Today when I came home from work I listened for Cletus again and got him/her almost right away. Heart rate ranged from 150-168. I have never seen it as low as 150 before! It has always been 160 or higher.
If I had to guess, I would say this baby is going to be a girl, it will be born August 1st or 2nd, and it is going to be very energetic! Let's see if I am right! Only time will tell.

My Lazy Weekend

It's going to be a very lazy weekend but that's OK, I am welcoming it with open arms. For example, I have been sleeping on and off since about 11PM last night until about 3:30PM today. How incredibly wonderful is that?! Hey judge if you want, but I plan on being sloth-like for as long as I can until Cletus gets here and puts my life in a tailspin.
Aaron is working nights all weekend and next week, so I am basically spending my weekend alone. It sounds worse than it actually is. I got used to being alone when Aaron was in New Mexico for training, so now I am actually quite comfortable that way. I get to watch what I want to watch on TV, stay in my jammies all day, and do rude things like burp without having to worry about grossing out company. :)
I was going to do some grocery shopping today, but now I don't feel like it so I think I will pick up Chinese for dinner and go to the store tomorrow instead. I think that sounds reasonable. But crap, I have no Coke or bottled water, so I will have to stop by the grocery store. Ugh.
It is insane to me that I have had the AC on in January. The cheap bastards who built my house put NO screens on the windows, so when it is 75 here it gets hot in my house, and there's really no other way to cool it down except for turn on the house fan and/or AC. I think Aaron and I are going to put up some screen doors though, so we can at least leave the doors open when we want. That is one of many things wrong/irritating with this house and I am very excited to move back home so this house can be a little memory. I say little because the house is so damned little.
Anyway, as of yesterday I am 14 weeks pregnant! Time is flying by. So exciting! In a few weeks' time I will be able to feel my baby kicking. I can't wait for that. I am in maternity clothes but still look nothing other than just fatter than usual. That's getting old.
So real news here. Still pregnant, still living in Texas, still want to come home. I need to travel more of this state though, I bet there's a WHOLE lot more than the tiny bit I see. Texans are very proud people, and I owe it to the state and to them to find out why. So far I am not too sure. I don't do cattle, and I don't do Mexico (can't, too dangerous per my hubby unless we fly in and go to a resort) so there's not a whole lot for me to do here. But the people are very nice. My co-workers and boss are very nice. So yes the people are friendly but I left lots of friendly people to come here, so I need to find more to make me happy here. I really am sick of bitching about wanting to come home. I know people tell me that at last I have Aaron with me, which is completely true and I don't know what I would do without him. But I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too. We lived 20 minutes away from a border, why couldn't he work there? Then I wouldn't be destroying my credit by doing a short-sale on my house, I wouldn't be pregnant 1600 miles away from anyone who I am close with, and I wouldn't have to worry obsessively about tarantulas.
OK, done bitching for today. Getting in the shower so I can try the new Chinese place in town tonight. :)

Today sucked.

I couldn't sleep last night, so I have been tired all day.
I found a weird lump last night so I went to the doctor to have it seen, and no worries everything is fine, but for whatever reason I wept uncontrollably for about an hour because of this. The nurse practitioner told me that it seems like that baby is good and healthy because it's affecting Mom's moods so much. Ha. Thanks lady. She had a student with her, an NP student, who works with me. So not only did she see my weep like a child, she got to see my weep like a child in a paper gown while I told her I was sorry but she couldn't stay in because it was too personal. Ugh shoot me.
I went back to work and a patient called me a little girl. I am 29. Not that I want to look my age or anything, but chances are if I am assisting with your blood transfusion I am indeed an adult. Just sayin'. THEN he had the audacity to ask my co-worker if I am pregnant. OK, so I am... but I am not far enough along to be showing! Why are people asswipes? How can you NOT tell the difference between uterus and chub?! Granted I am convinced the uterus is already pushing the chub out more... it's harder to suck my gut in. I think it's just difficult to suck in uterus.
When I went to the doctor's office it said I gained two more pounds since the last time I was there on the 6th. I think that contributed to my weepiness. I figured out then that I have gained 5-6 pounds since I got pregnant. Total bullshit. However, I figured it all out. I'll give my breasts a pounds between the two of them. They are full! I'll give my uterus itself a pound between the growth of it and the amniotic fluid. Extra blood flow is probably another half pound, the baby weighs a half ounce, and the other 3 pounds and 7 1/2 ounces is the baby's bad attitude. Hey, anyone that moves around that much during an ultrasound has got to be a rebel!
Oh, and I brought my crying fit back to with me and everyone had to say aww and pat the silly crying pregnant girl. Don't get me wrong I am so glad they care, just for whatever reason when I am upset and people hug me it makes it worse and I cry more. I don't know why. Oh, and Dr. Watkins heard me call myself an asshole. I actually think that is amusing though. :)
OK I am sore and stiff from being constantly on edge today, so I am going to bed. Hope tomorrow is better!!!

Update #1 on Cletus.

And by this I mean Cletus the Fetus. Yes, until I find out it's a girl or until this baby is born it will be known as Cletus. :) heh heh heh I hope this kid has a good sense of humor, or at least is a good sport!
So I am officially 12 weeks and 4 days pregnant. My due date is July 23rd, which is awesome because that is my Father's birthday. If I can actually manage to have the baby of the 23rd I will be his favorite child for LIFE. :)
My second doctor's appointment was January 6th, last Wednesday. I have gained three pounds, which is interesting since the baby only weighs a half ounce... but nevermind...
I had a nurse come in the room and tell me we were going to listen for the baby's heart beat. I thought to myself, "cool, because I can never hear it at home!" She can't find it. But then she sends in someone else to find it. She can't find it either. I think really nothing of this because I think I am only 10 1/2 weeks along and it is still pretty early. However, Dr. White tells me that this is "concerning because at 11 1/2 weeks we should be able to hear the baby by now." He told me this after the third person, a nurse practitioner with previous OB experience, comes in and listens for a long time and can't hear the baby either. (However, we did hear a big WHOOSH noise and she told me that sounded like movement. That FLOORED me that a person that small can make noise inside me and I am completely oblivious to it!)
So of course I start to feel nervous, as I am sure anyone would be. Hey if the doctor tells me I might have reason to worry then I am about 3 seconds away from a nervous breakdown.
Eventually (after he takes care of an emergency patient) he comes back in the room and begins the ultrasound. I'm a little nervous but trying to keep my composure. A few seconds after he puts the (for lack of a better term, I assume...) wand down on my belly he says "Oh my God there's three in there!" I said "WHAT!" and then he just giggles. Awesome. I love that I have a slightly smart-ass doctor. This is the same doctor that tells me before my Pap smear last month to "not worry, he did this once before and it went fine." and after asking if my breasts were sensitive just before the breast exam made a mention of mashing them. LOL. I seriously could not have an high strung doctor for something like this. I mean, lets be reasonable. In all likelihood I am probably going to end up pooping on this guy's shoes... I need to be able to laugh with him.
So after my brief heart attack I learn there is actually only one child, and it is doing something that looks like break dancing in my uterus. It was the most amazing, hilarious thing I have ever seen. Dr. White said "You're going to have one energetic child." LOL. He almost couldn't even measure him/her because it was so active. It was hard to get a good view to measure! Dr. White kept saying "come on Munchkin, just slow down for just one minute!" And yes, I cried a little bit. I didn't boo-hoo it up but I did need a tissue. It was a huge relief to see my baby not only alive but thriving. I think if something was wrong it wouldn't be busting a continuous move in my womb. I saw this little person actually do a flip. A flip! I made a person who has two arms and legs and can flail! I don't think this will ever, ever get old or boring. :)
Yeah, I love being pregnant. I know what I am about to say sounds weird, but I am still going to try my best to put it into words. Being a grown up, you know what all your bodies functions are. You know what your legs do, and your hands and eyes, etc. And then you get pregnant and you learn what else your uterus (and breasts, and their magical vein making capability) does. Sure we all know the usual functions, but WOW can it do more. It is amazing to learn about your body more when you thought you knew it all already. It is all so new. I am only 12 weeks pregnant, but I definitely feel different already. I have a fullness in my lower abdomen. It has become uncomfortable to lie flat on my belly. It feels like I am squishing myself. If I stand up too fast after tying my shoes, or if I stretch in a certain position I feel my round ligaments stretching, which is NOT my favorite feeling in the world. It's amazing and fun, and I hope that every woman that wants to experience it for herself gets to at least once.
One more thing before I go watch American Idol and laugh at the audition... last night Aaron and I heard Cletus's heart beat for the first time ever last night! It was so cool! There was no mistaking that rapid heart beat for mine. It was 160 beats per minute and just sounded like it came from something little. On the doppler my heart beat sounds like whoosh, and the baby's sounded like a little *bip*. :)
I don't even know the little stinker yet and I am already falling madly in love with it!

Feed Me!

We are trying to plan a long weekend home in Michigan in late April. And I am almost as excited for the food I will be eating in Michigan as I am to see my friends and family. I have plans of all the places I want to dine...
1. Olga's Kitchen... I want a basket of snackers with extra cheese! And an orange cream cooler while I am at it.
2. Bahama Breeze... I want the chicken with the lemon butter sauce and sweet mashed potatoes and yuca fries. Damn.
3. Buca di Beppos for some gnocchi... Mmmmm.....
4. MIDDLE EASTERN FOOD!!!!! I want some falafel and real homemade hummus so bad it hurts! Ooh and some fattoush salad. Gotta get all this at Fattoush Village in Livonia.
And... to wash it all down... Vernor's. Please and thank you.

I am thinking of all this food that I can't have and it gets me angry. :/ We have diddly squat in the house because I have been too busy napping to go to the grocery store. I had Long John Silver's for dinner because the baby wanted mercury... uh I mean fish. hahaha Don't worry this is the second time in my pregnancy I have had any fish. But because of my poor choices this afternoon I can and will not order out. I can't afford to gain 50+ pounds with this baby! However my poor choice was glorious!

I wish I could quit thinking about food. I would say my appetite is increasing for sure now. The last few days I eat the normal amount of times but every time has been 100% of all meals, and side salads, and stealing from Aaron... this kumquat sized little goober gives me the appetite of a big brawny man!
I should be ashamed to tell anyone this but it is so gross that I have to tell. This morning all I could think about was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and fish. Not together, but I knew I had to have both of those today. So I had a little roll with some PB&J on it and a big glass of milk, and maybe 2 hours later... Aaron came home with my fish. Good GOD!