Aaron's first gig and then some little extra crap.

So, Aaron's first gig on his own with My Trivia Live was Monday. Jessica and I went to support him, as well as the managers for My Trivia Live. He was (understandably) nervous. It was at the Quarter Bistro in Ann Arbor. If you have never been there, it's a higher scale restaurant, that I doubt would have signed up for My Trivia Live if they really knew what it was about. Don't get me wrong, MTL is fun, but that's just it. This "bistro" is so stuffy, and their rich, snooty clientele basically turned their noses up to it. It really pissed me off.
One of the girls there that Aaron went up and talked to, offering her to play looked at him and said "You're not from Ann Arbor, are you?" BITCH! No he's not... he unlike you was not a trust fund baby and had to work for everything he had! Asshole.
Ooh that pissed me off.
And then there was a woman there, a few chairs down the bar from the first bitch, that was scuffing and squawking because he didn't know how to pronounce the names of the 19th century novel characters. They weren't normal names, like Ann of Green Gables. They were all funky, the easiest one being Mowgli (sp?) from the Jungle Book. She said " He can't even prounounce them!" I was so pissed at that point that Jessica was trying to relax me and we went out for multiple cigarettes. I stared her down with a "I'm-going-to-jump-over-this-bar-and-punch-your-teeth-down-your-throat" look until she looked back at me. And instead of getting shy or nervous and looking away, like I usually do when I am trying to intimidate someone (haha) I kept staring her right in the face. I think she got the point. That was the last I heard from her apart from her telling the whole bar that it was her friend's 50-something-th birthday. Bitch, get yourself another glass of chardonnay and shut the hell up before I go Westland on your ass.
But on the bright side, Jessica and I won 2nd place, which was a $20 gift certificate to Quarter Bistro. AND I won the little game where you get a shirt or whatever. He asked for the first person to give him a receipt from a department store, and it was me. Having a messy purse paid off for once! :)

On another note... a little bit more on my TTC journey. :)
This week I started taking my basal body temps. I am a cold bitch! The highest temp I have had was 97.1, and the lowest was 96.3. Every morning when I first wake up I get stressed about it because I want to make sure I do it right. Since I am just waking up, nothing makes sense, I am confused, whatever, but I have managed to get a temp every morning and scribble it down in a little notebook that is sitting on my bedside table. A mornings ago I woke up with a tight grip on my thermometer. Apparently in the middle of the night I thought it was time to take my temp... I am not sure how long I had had the thermometer in my hand. I think an hour or two. It was kinda funny to me. This morning I kept having little mini dreams that I was taking my temp and forgot to write it down. So by the time I actually did take my temp, it felt like it was the third this morning that I did it. It's probably not interesting to you guys, but to me it is slightly amusing.

Tonight I am going to the Red Wings Game with Aaron, Kim, Mark and Jesse. I am so excited! I hope it doesn't go too late though, I want to get a good night's sleep. When did I turn into an old lady? Yeah, and I hope they have prune juice smoothies there too... can't let that arena food get me irregular. haha.

OK, I have to get back to work now. Have a good day!

1-1-09

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Last night was fun. A lot of us got together at Stevie's house and talked, hung out, played poker, and basically just made asses of ourselves. 1 1/2 bottles of champagne and about 6-7 jello shots later, oh yeah and a beer, and I am proud to say I did NOT wake up with a hangover! WOOHOO! I think I found the cure. Eat some chili and a sloppy Joe before bed and all should be well. Yes, I know I am lucky. This NYE was kinda, um... interesting for me. I looked at it as hopefully (!!!) the last time I celebrate the New Year without a child. I really REALLY hope to be a Mommy or at least a Mommy-to-be by this time next year.

2009 will hopefully be a great year. I feel bad saying it because 2008 sucked for SO MANY people, but it for the most part was good to me.
We got Harvey in January. Our one year wedding anniversary was in April and we went to Chicago to celebrate, which was awesome. My Mom and Aunt Sheila came over in May to visit for a week and a half and we went to Chicago again and it was SO much fun! Sadie had her first birthday, Aaron and I went to Universal Studios for a week in Orlando and had a great vacation together, I went to Virginia for a family wedding and saw my family whom I haven't seen since 1996 when my Grandpa died AND I got to see my friend Nicki that I haven't seen since 2004, I got to meet Cassie and Carl, who I have heard about for years and finally got to know them and they are really fun, Kim met Mark and fell in love and now they're blessing us with a new niece/nephew, I made new friends in Jessica and Damien and we have a lot of fun together, I got a new job that is awesome, we had a good Christmas and to top it all off, New Year's Eve went without a hitch. (Holy run-on sentence!!! My English teacher from middle school would have KILLED me for that. lol)
I know I am looking at the year with a glass half full attitude, because there are a lot of bad/sad things that happened too. We lost a friend way too soon, Dawn House on January 3rd. Aaron's Uncle Al died in January too. My great Aunt Julia passed away in May. So did his Grandma, Monica Houff. They will all be sorely missed. Also a lot of our friends lost their jobs, and a few went bankrupt. A couple of them even lost their homes due to the crap economy. It makes me feel bad to be happy for myself when so many people that we care about have passed or are suffering.
But I have hope for 2009... we will have a new President that will *hopefully* not fuck things up more than they are already. Aaron and I resolved to eat healthier, start working out again and quit smoking again. I have smoked a little recently, (unfortunately) because Aaron has been and I caved in and wanted a few. But I KNOW I HAVE to quit because we are really trying to get pregnant.

Oh yeah... speaking of which (caution: girly body period talk)... my Dr. put me on meds to make me have a period so I can get pregnant... and it came yesterday. And OH MY LORD did it. My body hasn't had a period since September and now it is PISSED. Oh the pain! This morning I was laying in bed with my arm around Aaron's side and got up because I realized I started digging my nails into his stomach a little bit because it hurt so bad. Poor guy, he shouldn't get clawed because I am in pain. It feels like my body is trying to get revenge on me for taking the pills. Like, OK, you want a period? Here ya go bitch! And yes, I know, one should not personify one's uterus. But I am sorry, it felt like the pain was coming from the depths of Hell. I was laying in bed thinking to myself hmmm... this pain is amazingly awful. What number would I score it? Meningitis was a 10 out of 10. That is the worst pain I have ever had so I compare all runners up to that. That is the only thing I have ever used a 10 for. Even when I ripped my effing toenail in half of the wheel of Kim's bed when she was in labor with Sadie that wasn't a 10. It was like a 6 or 7. I think I have a rather good pain threshold. The cramps this morning were a 6, more or less. They were as bad as running to a hospital bed with a puke bucket wearing flip flops and hitting your toe so hard that it ripped the nail in half and made the skin tear open and bleed. Good God. I am glad I have something to compare it to for those of you out there reading this who have never been "blessed" with a uterus.

OK, I am going to quit rambling on here and clean my house before my cousin gets here later today.

Hope you all have a great start for 2009!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Just wanted to write a quick little blog to you all to wish you all the best. I hope you all get what you want in your stockings, that you have a delicious meal while being surrounded by your loved ones and your spirit is touched by the whole reason this day even exists... Jesus. OK, I am done with my sappiness for now.
And on New Years Eve, I hope you get several jello shots, beers and bottles of champage and laugh until you pee your pants a little. :D

I am so excited for Aaron to open all his stuff, he got everything he wanted this year. Not that this is all about presents, I know there is a bigger reason for it all... but seeing him happy makes me happy. God I am a sappy shit! LOL

OK I am about to get the hell outta work so I can watch a Christmas Story and decorate decorations with my familia.

Update on the girly parts

Hello All,
Looks like I probably do NOT have PCOS... this is probably all caused by rapid weight gain... thank you night shifts! I am now working on losing it so I can get cute and pregnant. :) Thanks to all for your kind words and thoughts. I appreciate them.
Now I would like to say how I hate snow. I hate driving in it. We are supposed to get up to 10 inches tomorrow. 10 INCHES. WTF? I hate snow.
I would rather it rain. Ugh.

I have SO much to do before Christmas. I can think of at least 6 different gift I need to get people, and not one damn thing is wrapped. Not ONE DAMN THING. I suck at this.
PS- If you didn't see our Christmas cards, they are great. I will have to ask someone to put a copy on the net for me.
PPS- If someone will record Coronation Street for me I would be forever in your debt. Seriously! I MISS IT. That would be a great Xmas gift for me. And Cheap.
OK gotta go do some chemo.

Update and probably some bitching too...

Hello,
I have been pretty busy getting adjusted to the new job so I haven't been online much. But I love my job! It is great to have essentially the same schedule as most of the people in my life. I sleep at night, am awake during the day with the rest of the world, and I do a LOT of walking at work, actually more than when I worked on 6. Well, not always but often I walk back and forth from Main, to Mott, to Med Inn, Cancer Center and back. But it is good exercise. :) My co-workers are very nice and have been very welcoming to me. We all get along well. I really couldn't ask for much more.
Well, I have had some not so nice discoveries, too. Be warned, if you're weird about hearing/reading about period stuff, read no further.
I haven't had a period since September 3. After multiple negative pregnancy tests I went to the doctor and had some blood work done. My thyroid is OK, as is my glucose, but apparently my follicle stimulating hormone and luteinizing hormone are off, which from what I am told is indicative of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Needless to say I am sad, scared, and pissed the hell off.
So, this is the thanks I get for doing it all right. I go to high school, graduate, go straight to college, get a good education and dependable, respectable career, graduate, get married, buy a house, set up a 401K, have 2 decent cars in the driveway for us, and *BAM*. You're fucking infertile. Well, maybe not. So OK, *BAM*, best case scenario you'll need to be on meds to stimulate ovulation to get pregnant, or you'll have to learn how to shit money so you can pay for in vitro fertilization. BULLSHIT. Or I will have to pay ass loads of money so I can adopt someone else's kid. While I am over here worrying about the THOUSANDS of dollars I may have to come up with in order to be a Mommy, let me take this opportunity to say that it is free to get knocked up in an alley in Detroit while smoking crack. Those kinds of people can get pregnant, but I may not be able to. Cue in Alanis Morrissette's "Isn't it Ironic". It PISSES ME OFF that people who have no business getting pregnant seem to make a hobby of it while I would be a good Mom and I may not even be able to.
On the bright side, this explains the unexplainable weight gain. I hope it get be corrected, along with my bum ovaries.
I feel defective. I am made a woman so I can reproduce. Is there a consollation prize for not being able to use these ovaries for their obvious intent? Will someone make them into bronzed matching paper weights for me? It is all just very unfair and painful.
Granted, I may be *slightly* over reacting because I haven't gotten the official diagnosis from the doctor. That comes Tuesday. But I am a nurse, and I see the evidence right in front of my face. If I don't get diagnosed with it then I will be COMPLETELY surprised, and elated.
Updates will be up when I find them out and can stomach typing them.

Leaving 6

Well, Wednesday night-Thursday morning was my last shift I had at 6 Mott. It was a nice, relaxing shift. I had a good assignment, sweet patients and caring parents. One of my patients was having some complications with a kidney transplant he was actively rejecting and because of this (well, at least I think because of this...) he was in a lot of pain. I was trying to comfort him the best I could and his mom said "You're Good." I assumed she was talking to her brave little 7 year old boy. I agreed with her and said "Yes he is,". She said, "No, you... you're a good nurse. Thank You." It was a bittersweet moment. I was happy and proud to have helped this little boy and in turn pleased his worried mother. But at the same time I was sad... when is the next time I will have a patient like him? When will I get to truly be a patient advocate again?
Another patient I had was a spinal fusion, but only 2. Usually kids with that surgery are 10+. I went in his room to give him pain medicine and he was crying because his dad went to the bathroom and he was alone. So I sat next to his bed and rubbed his forehead and hair and he fell asleep almost immediately. When is the next time I will be able to comfort a scared baby like that? I mean, the things I am talking about aren't big deals in nursing, they happen often. Well yes they are big deals, it is important to do them, but it can be a regular occurrence. But the fact that I am walking into a new job full of everything unknown on Monday, and probably not get the chance to do those things anymore, scares and kind of upsets me. Will I have the chance to participate in/embrace those aspects of nursing? Those things to me are the essence of nursing, nursing at it's most basic and necessary, the human aspect.
Even though I rarely talk about it, I consider myself to be extremely lucky because for the last 3 1/2 years my job gives me the opportunity to truly help people. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to comfort a child in pain. It is so fulfilling to have an infant patient who has no parents with them(it happens often) and have a night time feeding. Holding that little baby and rocking him/her back to sleep is so comforting. In those moments, everything is OK for us both. They are safe, I am relaxed, we're both happy. Now the reason I like that so much might be because I want a baby so damn bad. Not sure. I get paid to do what feels right and what interests and amazes me at the same time. How lucky is that?! I truly LOVED my job. If I could have had the same schedule as Aaron and stay there, maybe I would have never left. But I had to do what was right for my marriage and the continued growth of my career.
Well one thing did happen to remind me that sometimes not being on 6 can be a good thing. There was a patient there with epidermolysis bullosa and she had the worst case I have ever seen, even in books. This poor kid was basically there to die. I watched her for a minute while her nurse went to the bathroom and I just about shit my pants. They said she looked bad, but I guess just words didn't prepare me for what I saw. My Good God. She looked dead. But not normal dead, like if you or I died at this moment. No, like scary movie, special effects dead. Her disease process had overtaken her body so badly that there was no normal skin on her. The only way I could tell she was still alive was my watching her chest rise and fall as she breathed. It hurt to look at this poor kid.
Kids like this, paralyzed kids with trachs and vents, and child abuse cases are the 3 main things that really piss me off. Why does this have to happen? Why does God allow this? I understand people have to die, but why in the hell does anyone have to suffer like that? Ugh. But at least not working there anymore means I will not see stuff like that, well at least not as often.
In the morning when I was leaving I was holding back tears the best I could. It was so hard to leave everyone I have worked with for the last 3 1/2 years. Some of those people have been there from the beginning for me and helped me learn and grow as a nurse. They are more than just my co-workers, they are my friends too. I will miss them so much! I felt very loved too, we had a potluck for my last shift AND we went out last night to celebrate. It was a very fun night out. A lot of drinks and laughs were had by all. Maybe they like me as much as I like them. :)
OK I think I am done having my pity party. Leaving my first nursing job ever was a momentous occasion for me, I suppose. But now it is over and done and I have to dry my eyes, put my big girl panties on and get on with it.

PS- my manager said that if I change my mind I always am welcome back on 6. That is incredibly good to know. Like training wheels for my new job! :)

Bitter!

Aaron and I had a good day yesterday. It was the 5 year anniversary of the day we met. We spent the day being lazy as slugs, watching TV and taking naps periodically throughout the day and getting some cheap pizza for dinner. It was nice to lay around with my hubby and be lazy together. :)
In the morning we had an AT&T cable guy come to our house and install cable. We have it now for 30 days free to try it. It is better than WOW or Comcast! We love it! Well, I love it apart from one thing. It doesn't have CBC. There is no longer a way for me to watch my all time favorite show, Coronation Street. I am PISSED! And the last episode I saw that was on Friday, Vera friggin died! She popped her clogs right there in her chair in the loving room, and Jack came back from the Rovers after a quick pint and found her dead. Poor guy. And they were just about to go to Blackpool. Ugh. I choked back the tears.
I have been watching Corrie since the summer of 2006 on a regular basis. I watched it a lot when I was a kid because of my mom. I didn't like it a lot then, but I love it now and could honestly cry. I would give up Grey's Anatomy AND Nip/Tuck for my Corrie!!!
I am now scrambling to find a place to watch it so I don't miss anything. I tried www.cbc.ca, but they only let people in Canada watch their TV shows online. No matter that I live 30 friggin' minutes from the border to Windsor! That just proves to me that Canadians are bastards that have no love for me... even though I came from the same place they did. Jerks. Sorry if you're Canadian. I am bitter right now. I am sure that any Canadian readers of this blog are indeed not bastards.
Any English websites I have been to for some reason make my ISP crash every time I try to watch an episode online. I am going to have to see if anyone can fix this. What the hell people?! Who do I have to f*ck around here to get to see my favorite show???
So, if there are any loving, sweet people out there reading this who love me, who get CBC and have a DVR, would you please record Coronation Street for me? It comes on Monday-Friday at either 7:00 or 7:30PM and lasts a half hour. I will in turn make you cookies, rub your back or do whatever you want... within reason.
So apart from searching the internet in vain looking for a place to watch Corrie and calling AT&T threatening to drop their services if I can't have my favorite show, today has been a good day...