Isabella Maria

Isabella Maria
Her 3 week pictures... such an angel!

Monday, June 15, 2009

A few random thoughts.

I am so tired this morning. I had a surprise visitor knocking on my door at quarter past twelve, after I had already been lying in my bed for over an hour. While I love the friend who came to visit me, I do NOT love the time he chose. Now I am f*cked for work this morning. I was laying in bed after he left too awake to go back to sleep. Not to mention he scared the SHIT out of me.... I live alone and when someone knocks on your door and gets you out of bed at Midnight it is scary. Well at least it was for me last night! I called Autumn and woke her up because I was scared! LOL OK I need to get over this. It's done.
I have been thinking of ways to embrace the desire to lose the weight. Then it occurred to me as I was looking at some thin, slender girl and being mad at her for her that there is no reason to get mad at her. She obviously made a decision. You can't have it all. You can't be thin and eat what you want. That thin girl probably never eats half the crap I do. She's probably miserable because she never gets to taste anything good. Well, I would rather that kind of miserable then being miserable because you're fat and feel disgusting and unhealthy. So then I realized I have to make a decision. Either way you're gonna be miserable, which way do I want to be miserable? Either because I am fat or because eating now sucks because all the food tastes like cardboard and garbage. I am trying to stick to my decision to be miserable for the latter cause.
I did NOT do a good job of that this weekend. I blame that on hormones and craving to eat chips and dip all weekend. It was FAB but I know it was so bad.
On Saturday I signed up to be a Mona Vie distributor. I have not ordered the juice yet but as soon as I can afford to I will. If anyone is interested in learning about it let me know. :)

6 comments:

kimberkara said...

My best advice is right along the lines of what you are saying - you have to do it all or nothing. No cheating or reasoning. NO excuses. Find a plan like what I did and stick to it like Jesus. I know you can do it. I am pretty frickin ready myself.

I'm Scooter, but I might be a troll. said...

I hate to say this, but I find spinach to be delicious.

cassdawn said...

what the hell - i will give you my advice . . . that i haven't always been able to follow.

senior year in college i gained about 40/50 pounds or so. in the six months between graduation and moving to KC i lost 60 pounds. it was only possible once i decided that i loved myself as i was. that my body was beautiful. the focus became (usually) that i wanted to take care of myself not "fix" myself.

well, plus i was a giant pothead and though it might sound contrary if you have enough of it then you no longer want to eat :D

cassdawn said...

oh, and yes, unfortunately scooter is right. finding good for you foods delicious is really helpful. the good news though is that after the first little while your body will actually start to crave the 'good for you' stuff

Andrea said...

I love spinach too!
:)

There are a lot of foods that are healthy that I like. Unfortunately there are also a lot of foods that are horrible for me that I like as well.
I love my insides... but the outside needs some work. ;)

Booya said...

The answer may be in your spam folder ;)

http://txbooya.blogspot.com/2008/06/worst-diet-ever.html