Isabella Maria

Isabella Maria
Her 3 week pictures... such an angel!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Twilight

So a couple months ago my cousin and I watched it. I LOVED it. I was with her over Memorial Day weekend, we watched it again. Oh my God. LOVE. So I went out and bought it the next day. I have watched it twice this week. And I am reading the book. Help me.
I feel silly because people say it is geared for teenage girls, but hell no it's NOT. Edward Cullen is way too smoldering hot for teenagers. Uhhh.... I probably shouldn't watch it anymore. I am a married woman. Yet that movie... uh you just gotta watch it. Kim said that vampires shouldn't sparkle. He could roll around in a pile of dog shit and look just as delicious as he does sparkly. And what's my favorite thing ever? Diamonds! If a man looks encrusted in jewels it's all the more reason to love him. :D
Robert Pattinson is probably one of the most painfully sexy people I have ever seen in my life. Painful. Frustratingly, painfully gorgeous.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Don't even feel like blogging.

Maybe it's the PMS... maybe it's the whole situation coming to a head in my life... I think it's likely a rotten combination of the two. Aaron left for training today. I am probably not going to see him again for 6 months.
I should have known I was going to be an emotional wreck when I cried at Kroger because I saw ham steaks and those are one of his favorite things. I shoulda known...
I came home tonight after Kim's Baby Shower talking to Aaron on the phone. I could feel myself welling up and figured, OK lets get this over with now. I was dreading going through the house and seeing his things so I just went through every room and looked at it to get the heart sinking feeling out of the way. I didn't cry. I wailed like a child. I am not sure why. It's not like he freaking died!
The way I feel now is like the way I felt after a particularly horrible break up with a guy I dated in college. I was a mess for weeks. I cried at everything. It was a total surprise break up. I thought we were doing great, but apparently not. haha.
Anyway... I saw his stuff he left in the shower, lip quivered. I saw his slippers in the bedroom, it only got worse. Then I thought about what it's going to be like to lay in bed tonight and hug his pillow and smell him on it and that precisely when I started crying like a 5 year old who dropped their ice cream cone on the floor at the fair. Needless to say I have set up camp on the couch in the basement until I am ready to go handle it all. WTF. I wish I would start my f*cking period already people. If this is what I am like the whole 6 months he is gone I am going to need some intervention.
We've been apart before, when he went to Iraq for a year... but this seems just as hard even though it's MUCH better circumstances. Before we weren't even engaged for half of the time he was gone, and now we have been married for 2 years and living together for over 3... I don't even know what to do with myself. It's depressing.
So tonight I will sit on my couch, cry and eat cheesecake for dinner. I don't even care enough to have a real meal. Plus the leftover cheesecake sounds damn tasty. And no one is here to stop me. haha.
Hopefully my next blog won't be so obnoxiously... um.... emotional/pathetic/lame as this one. :(

Sunday, May 3, 2009

No BFP for me!

Due to the whole Aaron leaving for Texas on May 17 and us moving in November we are going to quit trying to get pregnant. It sucks but it makes the most sense. Well since he will be gone in about 2 weeks it kinda puts the whole trying aspect to a screeching halt so that kinda made the decision for us! No but seriously as long as I'm not pregnant right now I have to kinda keep it that way until he gets done with training and we are living together again.
If I were to get pregnant now that would suck so bad for both of us. All the housework and moving to me, the pregnant one. He would miss out on his first child's ultrasounds and first kicking, etc... and God forbid if I were to miscarry. That would screw him all up with training and the academy because all he would want to do is be here with me.
So of course this is the responsible, mature thing to do. But if I were to find out I was pregnant I would still be ecstatic. I would get to be a Mommy! AND then I would know my girlie bits are working! Double Yay!
While I am on the whole subject I suck SO bad at temping. Every day is practically a different time. But I am sorry I am not getting up early to take my temp so it's at exactly the same time every day. Fertilityfriend.com says it hasn't detected ovulation but I think it's wrong... I think I might have last week. :) We'll see in a few weeks I guess!
Hmm... if I am pregnant now I hope the multiple beers and shots I had last night don't touch the little stinker. I usually don't drink anymore at social things because we are TTC, but hey the party was at my house and for my husband before he leaves for 6 months... drinks were in order for me. And I figure even if I do get pregnant this month, s/he hasn't even implanted yet. So no guilt.
OK I am starving and have much stuff to around this house before my Mom gets here tomorrow. :)