Warning: this is an INCREDIBLY BITCHY blog. If you feel like you're having an overly-sensitive, easily offended day please don't even bother reading it because if you comment to me and piss me off I swear to God I will lose my shit on you. :)
OK, so sorry this is not a particularly festive blog subject, but I am home alone on Christmas Day while my husband is at work so I think it is slightly fitting. I have the WHOLE DAY to do pointless stuff like blog instead of celebrate my favorite holiday with my husband... Yes I am bitter.
This blog was originally going to be titled "Things about Texas that Piss Me Off", but now I am going to extend it to global proportions. Hey why not? It's not just Texas, it is a whole lot of stuff.
1. Homesickness:
I want to go home. I am sick of being gone. It would be easier to be gone if it were in a place that wasn't so damn foreign feeling. There are tarantulas, scorpions, wild hogs and cacti out here. Does that sound normal? Or homey? Not to me. Palm trees are NOT synonymous with Christmas to me. AND Aaron recently explained to me (after I dig it out of him... I say this because getting the full story from him is similar to a fecal impaction, you have the dig the shit out of him piece by piece...) that in 2 years Aaron is eligible to put in for a transfer. Not he will automatically be granted it... no, at that point he can ask for one. And it doesn't mean we will get it. This is BS. I promise to not bitch about Michigan as much anymore. Now that I have been gone and I have learned a little bit of what else is out there, I realize now what I had. I prefer the Midwest part of the country to the Southwest.
2. Peoples' "advice" about pregnancy:
I am not claiming to know it all. I will be the first to admit that I have a lot to learn about life. I know this! But WHY oh WHY does everyone who comes into contact with me that knows I am pregnant accidentally mistake themselves for a perinatologist? I have been told "you know, you should cut back on your sodium intake when you're pregnant", and "you should exercise when you are pregnant", and "only one pop a day, because any more is too much caffeiene" (which is bullshit, the upper limit of daily recommended consumption is 200 mg of caffeine a day, and a 12 ounce Coke has 35mg), and "You should drink lots of water now..." and, my personal favorite "You need more iron if you're anemic for your Thalassemia." Really? I need more iron? Do you really want my spleen to rupture?! You callous bastard.
I know I don't know everything, but I am pretty sure that I went to college for SEVEN YEARS and THREE of those years were spent in a Bachelor's Degree Nursing Program! I am pretty sure I went to one of the best Nursing Schools in the State of Michigan. I am almost positive I spent 7 weeks busting my ass in an OB clinical where I had to teach women what to do when they took their babies home. And, to top it all off I have been a practicing RN now for 4 years and 5 months. So I think it is safe to assume that I know basic things such as recommended sodium consumption, the basic physiology of a woman's body and a basic knowledge of own disease processes. I for now on will make it a general rule that I will offer NO advice on pregnancy to anyone unless I am asked. I will do this because 9 times out of 10 unsolicited advice has been an insult to my intelligence and I will give others the same courtesy. Please remember that I have wanted to be a Mom for years. Just because I couldn't get pregnant doesn't mean I haven't been looking into it all these years. I came into this condition as a well informed woman. If you want something really badly, don't you read about it, learn about it because you're interested in it? Well that is exactly what I did. That is why I am easily offended when told something a 12 year old knows. I DID THE RESEARCH PEOPLE.
Having said that, if I ask you for advice that is a completely different thing! If I want to hear what you have to say then I am not going to harbor negative feelings towards you. Promise. Well, almost promise. These hormones are kicking my ass!
3. People who put their dogs in the back of trucks.
This kind of stupidity unfortunately runs rampant down here. Animal life is not valued here like it is where I came from. They leave their dogs in cars all the time. I have watched a couple dogs almost plunge to their deaths out of moving trucks. If I could rule the world for one week... those people would be SCARED! How stupid do you have to be? Really? Do people not comprehend that dogs aren't able to reason why you shouldn't jump out of a moving vehicle? There should be a new rule. You HAVE to be smarter than your pet. If you are not then you are not allowed to have one. Good GOD. Would you put your 3 year old in the back of your truck?! Then don't put a dog in it. I think this is fairly simple logic. Please let me know if you disagree and let me know why, because I can't fathom this.
OK I have more to say but I am honestly sick of bitching for right now. Thank GOD! It is tiring to be this bitter. As happy as I am that I am pregnant and that I am finally going to be a Mommy, I am sooooo looking forward to feeling like I am in control of my emotions again. I know this can only happen when I am no longer pregnant. I don't want to wish it away, I want to embrace every single day of this pregnancy. But I do not want to embrace the... anger/moodiness/whatever-the-hell-you-call-this anymore.
On a brighter note, Merry Christmas to everyone. I hope you have a wonderful, fun, peaceful day! I know that can't even sound genuine, but it honestly is. ;)
Friday, December 25, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Pregnancy Hormones.
Yeah... they're a bitch.
I was at work today and Wayne (the recovery nurse who brings has laptop to work and we listen to Christmas Carols) played something on youtube called The Pink Glove Dance. It is about promoting breast cancer awareness. And for whatever the hell reason, it made me cry, at work. Seriously. It's not even fricking sad! If you want to see it click here.
As embarrassing as it was, thank God there is a 13 or 14 week pregnant girl there named Shanna who knew EXACTLY what I was going through and we had a good laugh about it. All I could say in between sobs and laughter was "I'm an asshole", "stupid baby" and "Breast cancer is sad". Jesus. I have 33 more weeks to go. This is going to be a bumpy ride.
But I am still grateful for it, no matter how unreasonable and swollen I become.
I was at work today and Wayne (the recovery nurse who brings has laptop to work and we listen to Christmas Carols) played something on youtube called The Pink Glove Dance. It is about promoting breast cancer awareness. And for whatever the hell reason, it made me cry, at work. Seriously. It's not even fricking sad! If you want to see it click here.
As embarrassing as it was, thank God there is a 13 or 14 week pregnant girl there named Shanna who knew EXACTLY what I was going through and we had a good laugh about it. All I could say in between sobs and laughter was "I'm an asshole", "stupid baby" and "Breast cancer is sad". Jesus. I have 33 more weeks to go. This is going to be a bumpy ride.
But I am still grateful for it, no matter how unreasonable and swollen I become.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Humor knows no language.
At my job now, a lot of my patient's primary language is Spanish. A lot of people speak some English, but you always run into the few people now and again who can't speak any at all. I really want to take a Spanish course, but have been told it may not be that helpful. The Spanish taught in most classes is Traditional/European Spanish, and what is usually spoken here is a mixture of Spanish and English. One of my co-workers Bennie called it "Tex-Mex", and said that she grew up speaking that but it someone talks to her in real Spanish she can't understand some of it. So... I guess I will just get some CD to learn Spanish and not devote a lot of time or money to it right now, since it may not be that big a help.
Anyway, there was a patient I talked to on the phone while I was training in the pre-operative department. This is how the conversation went.
Me- Hi, this is Andrea from Uvalde Memorial Hospital, I am calling to speak to Mrs. So-and-so regarding her procedure on December 3rd.
Patient- blahblahblahblahblah (for some reason I could hear her fine but couldn't make out what she was saying)
Me- I'm sorry can you please say that again?
Pt- blahblahblahblahblahblah
Me- What?
Pt- blahblahblahblahblahblah
Me- Habla Ingles? (or however you spell it...)
Pt- No.
Me- Oooooooooohhhhh... OK.....
We both start busting out laughing at this point. You probably had to be there, but it was hilarious.
So, this week I was working in pre and post op, so I got people ready for and (kinda) recovered them from their surgeries and procedures. I was told me next patient didn't speak any English. I didn't put two and two together.
So she comes in, and most of the stuff that needs to be discussed was done by Bennie (our Spanish, Tex-Mex speaking nurse, whose sister BTW makes the BEST TAMALES EVER.) and then I do the small stuff for her. I learn she can understand some English but can speak very little. Like, she can say "yes, no, it's OK", that about covers it.
I look at her wrist band to make sure it's correct, and ask "Su namo es?" (Remember I know very little Spanish so I probably butcher it, but this nice lady knows what I mean) and she says her name. Then I ask her for her birthdate and she says "blahblahblahblahblah". I continue to keep looking at the wrist band and say "Ooookaaaayyyy...." and again, peals of laughter. :)
I just think its so funny that you can not understand what the hell the person next to you is saying, but then humanity kicks in and you can laugh about it. She knew what I was asking, and I know what she was telling me, but neither of us really had an idea of what the actual words meant. It was just so funny. I know it's probably not to you and I am cool with that but I had to blog about it because it's funny to me! I guess that's all that matters! :)
In other news, my first OB appointment is this Wednesday. Aaron is leaving work early so he can go too in case theu do an ultrasound or listen for a heartbeat. He's such an excited Daddy-to-be... and it's the best feeling ever. :D
Every night when we're laying in bed we say good night to each other, and then I tell him the (insert the name of the small thing the same size of the baby is) here loves him, and he always says he loves it back. :) First it was a poppy seed, then an orange seed, and now we're up to a blueberry! It's crown to rump legnth is 7-9mm.! I put 7 and then 9 dimes in a stack to see how big my baby is now, and it's about the size of my fingernail. Awww!!! I can't freaking wait to meet my little blueberry! :)
OK enough for now. Have a good weekend.
Anyway, there was a patient I talked to on the phone while I was training in the pre-operative department. This is how the conversation went.
Me- Hi, this is Andrea from Uvalde Memorial Hospital, I am calling to speak to Mrs. So-and-so regarding her procedure on December 3rd.
Patient- blahblahblahblahblah (for some reason I could hear her fine but couldn't make out what she was saying)
Me- I'm sorry can you please say that again?
Pt- blahblahblahblahblahblah
Me- What?
Pt- blahblahblahblahblahblah
Me- Habla Ingles? (or however you spell it...)
Pt- No.
Me- Oooooooooohhhhh... OK.....
We both start busting out laughing at this point. You probably had to be there, but it was hilarious.
So, this week I was working in pre and post op, so I got people ready for and (kinda) recovered them from their surgeries and procedures. I was told me next patient didn't speak any English. I didn't put two and two together.
So she comes in, and most of the stuff that needs to be discussed was done by Bennie (our Spanish, Tex-Mex speaking nurse, whose sister BTW makes the BEST TAMALES EVER.) and then I do the small stuff for her. I learn she can understand some English but can speak very little. Like, she can say "yes, no, it's OK", that about covers it.
I look at her wrist band to make sure it's correct, and ask "Su namo es?" (Remember I know very little Spanish so I probably butcher it, but this nice lady knows what I mean) and she says her name. Then I ask her for her birthdate and she says "blahblahblahblahblah". I continue to keep looking at the wrist band and say "Ooookaaaayyyy...." and again, peals of laughter. :)
I just think its so funny that you can not understand what the hell the person next to you is saying, but then humanity kicks in and you can laugh about it. She knew what I was asking, and I know what she was telling me, but neither of us really had an idea of what the actual words meant. It was just so funny. I know it's probably not to you and I am cool with that but I had to blog about it because it's funny to me! I guess that's all that matters! :)
In other news, my first OB appointment is this Wednesday. Aaron is leaving work early so he can go too in case theu do an ultrasound or listen for a heartbeat. He's such an excited Daddy-to-be... and it's the best feeling ever. :D
Every night when we're laying in bed we say good night to each other, and then I tell him the (insert the name of the small thing the same size of the baby is) here loves him, and he always says he loves it back. :) First it was a poppy seed, then an orange seed, and now we're up to a blueberry! It's crown to rump legnth is 7-9mm.! I put 7 and then 9 dimes in a stack to see how big my baby is now, and it's about the size of my fingernail. Awww!!! I can't freaking wait to meet my little blueberry! :)
OK enough for now. Have a good weekend.
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